Tuesday, July 29, 2014

The House That Built Me

I have lived in exactly seven residences in my 26 years.  Seven sounds like a lot when I say it out loud, but my family has never moved around much.  Those seven houses have all been in only three cities.

I was born at 10611 Sagemeadow, Houston, TX 77089.  I remember this because of the many times I had to practice saying my address and phone number so that I could earn a prize in kindergarten.  The Sagemeadow house was home for almost ten years.  For being as young as I was when we lived there, I have quite a few memories of childhood days spent in the hot Houston sun.  I remember dragging my cat, Tiger, around by her back feet, playing "school" with  my brother in my cardboard playhouse, and creating secret "clubs" with my best friend, Carolyn.  I remember swimming in the hot tub with my cousins (until we had to fill it in because one of Tiger's kittens drowned in it, and my mom got scared that Tim or I might do the same).  Best of all, I remember Granddad's house with the giant, custom treehouse and Sunday-after-church-lasagnas being less than a mile away.  

Just before fourth grade, my dad accepted a job with Microsoft, which moved our family to Flower Mound, Texas (1408 Ivywood, to be exact).  I don't recall as much about this house as I do about the Sagemeadow one.  I do remember sitting in the top of our backyard fort (not as cool as the treehouse) with my also-new-to-Flower Mound-friend, Jenna, as we braved the awkward years of middle school together.  In this house, Tim and I got our first and only dog, Nikki.  Rest her soul.

When I came to college at the University of Oklahoma, I, like most freshmen, moved into the dorms.  Jenna and I made the mistake of choosing to live in the Honors Dorms, thinking that they would be more quiet than "the towers."  By "more quiet," I mean that they actually were completely silent about 95% of the time.  No one ever came out of their rooms.  Thank goodness I lived with one of my best friends, because I met approximately 3 people on my entire floor that year.  I became an honorary roommate to my other friends, Kate and Katherine, who lived in Adams Tower and knew everyone on their hall.

After my freshman year at OU, I moved into an on-campus apartment, Traditions Square, with my friends, Kate, Ellen, and Amanda.  In fifty years, I'll probably still look back on those two years at 2500 Asp Avenue as two of the best in my life.  There were times when the four of us studied, of course, but mostly I remember having weekly dinner parties, carving pumpkins, dressing up for date parties, watching America's Next Top Model together, and having random dance parties in the middle of the night.  

When Andrew and I got married after my junior year, we moved into the bottom of a janky quadruplex, 316 Falcon Court #1, because it cost $520/month and had two bedrooms and a laundry room inside.  There were, however, some things we unfortunately did not take into consideration before moving in, namely the fact that our backyard was Norman North High School.  We often woke up at 3 a.m. to the sound of monster trucks doing donuts in the parking lot, and there was no hope of sleeping late during the summer because the marching band began practice every weekday at promptly 6:45 a.m.  I once told someone where we used to live, and her first response was, "Oh my gosh, there are drugs all over that street!"  So there was that, too.  In addition to the less-than-ideal location of this rental property, the walls and floors of our apartment were uncomfortably thin.  Every time our upstairs neighbor used the bathroom (or did anything else), we knew about it.  All in all, we were comfortable in that little home.  But we were also young and stupid.  Anyway, I should be grateful.

Four years ago, Andrew and I moved into our current house in Norman.  Though we have some interesting neighbors, including the king and queen of holiday inflatables, as well as the people who dug up their entire front yard to plant a garden (complete with CDs hanging in the trees to keep the birds away), we have loved almost everything about this home.  The previous owners completely remodeled the inside just before selling the house to us, and we have a huge backyard, which is great for grill parties and s'mores around the firepit.  I'll always remember this home because it's the first one we bought together and because our sweet Piper was born here.

I saved the seventh home for last, even though it's not where I most recently lived.  Just before my freshman year of high school, my parents bought a newer and bigger house in Flower Mound at 1717 Bershire Court.  I technically only lived in this house for four years before leaving for college, but it has been "home" for much longer than that.  It is "the house that built me," and it is for sale.

Aside from the Houston house, I probably have the most memories in the Bershire house.  I remember taking pictures for homecoming and prom in the front yard, sitting in the driveway at night with my friend, Amanda, having sleepovers with my friend around the corner, Brooke, practicing piano in the foyer, shutting myself in my room and staring at the clouds I painted on my ceiling, and having friends over for study parties and FCA because everyone knew that my mom always made the best food.  I grew into myself in that house.  Even after I left when I graduated, I still continued celebrating all of our family's big life events at "home," because I'd rather be sitting on a barstool in my parents' kitchen late at night than mostly anywhere else.  And hey, everyone still knows that my mom makes the best food.

My parents have found their "dream home," which is about 30 minutes closer to us than their Flower Mound house.  It backs up to a horse farm and has tons of space inside and tons of land outside for those tons of grandkids they're hoping to have one day.  (Sorry to disappoint, Mom, but unless Tim gets busy soon, I'm thinking that "tons" will look more like "two" on our end.)  I'm excited for them but also somewhat sad about saying goodbye to the house on Bershire Court.  Thankfully, memories are even easier to pack up and take with you than the utensils in your kitchen.  And, life is less about where you live than who you're living it with anyway.

                

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Who Got Lucky?

My husband's high school reunion is next weekend.  We have had fun looking through old pictures this week, wondering how ten years have already passed since high school (eight for me), why no one politely told us about our poor fashion sense, and what we were thinking when we dated that person.  Ten years later seems like an interesting time to reunite, and we both have mixed feelings about going to our own high school reunions.  Some people will have gotten married, some will have had children, and some will have landed promising jobs.  All in all though, it seems like time will have leveled the playing field quite a bit.  People may be "popular," "successful," or "beautiful" in their own circles, but there is no such thing as "Homecoming Queen" or "Prom King" in the real world.  Everyone is now swimming in a much bigger ocean. 

I think I'm more nervous about this reunion than my husband is.  In many ways, I'm envious of his confidence in who he is.  While he is aware of his imperfections, he accepts them for what they are and moves on.  I've never been able to do that.

I'm a girl and this is a fancy occasion, so naturally, I've been considering what I'm going to wear.  I do believe that there is something to be said for wanting to make your significant other proud of you.  When I'm in my closet in the mornings, trying to choose my outfit, I subconsciously ask myself three questions: 1. Do I like these clothes?,  2. Is this appropriate for work?, and 3. Will Andrew like this?  I think the third question should be asked more often.  I'm not saying that people need to be entirely put together every day (I'm hardly the picture of perfection!); I'm saying that it's easy to get comfortable and quit caring about your partner's opinion of you.  (Sure, he will love you regardless, but he shouldn't always have to work hard to do so.)  I'm also saying that there are people like me who care too much, and not just about their spouse's assessment of them.

Have you seen The Fault in Our Stars?  If you haven't, don't.  (Unless you like big, ugly, mascara-totally-gone cries.)  If you have, you'll understand this reference.  One of the main characters, Gus, is afraid of fading into oblivion.  He wants everyone to know him, remember him, and think he is amazing.  He is so hung up on this that his girlfriend, Hazel, yells at him one day, "Isn't it enough that I love you?!"  I see myself in Gus more than I like to admit.  No, often it isn't enough that my husband loves me; I want everyone else to, also.

I'm about to tell a secret on us.  Often when in public settings by ourselves, Andrew and I play a game called "Who Got Lucky?"  It's not a very nice game, really.  We look at couples around us or choose a couple that both of us know and decide "who got lucky."  There are no points, winners, or losers in this game; it's just an interesting way to people-watch and pass the time.  The game has one serious flaw, though: It is only based on looks.  Sometimes, Andrew and I will disagree about "who got lucky," especially when we have chosen to evaluate a couple that both of us know personally.  Those conversations go somewhat like this:

A: "She got lucky."
MR: "No, I definitely think he did."
A: "He's a good-lookin' dude, though."
MR: "Yeah, but she is so sweet!"
A: "Looks only, MR!"
MR: "Okay, I guess she got lucky."

The thing is, personality can never be factored out when evaluating a person.  For this silly high school reunion (and in my daily life), I've spent so much time worrying about what I look like and honestly very little time considering my heart.  Sadly, I often want to be remembered as a pretty person more than I want to be remembered as a kind one.  I also, like Gus, care far more about what the thousands think about me than what "the one" does.  We've officially been married five years now, and I have no idea what people would say if they were to use us as one of the couples in their own "Who Got Lucky" game.  In my heart, though, I know that I got lucky.  I do hope he's proud of me next weekend, but not just because I'm wearing a pretty blue dress and spent more time than usual fixing my hair and makeup.  At the end of the evening, my hair will inevitably have fallen.  Ten years down the road at the next reunion, I will undoubtedly have more wrinkles.  Character lasts when the rest has faded, so I'd better get to working on that as much as I work on my abs at the gym.

And with that, I'm done playing "Who Got Lucky?".      

                                 

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Why the Church Needs People with Disabilities

Two weeks ago, I found myself sitting near the back of a crowded room overlooking a beautiful golf course in the mountains.  My husband and I were vacationing in Anchorage, Alaska, and we ended up staying four minutes away from Faith Presbyterian Church, the only PCA church in Alaska.  My cynical heart left encouraged that day by many things.  I was grateful for the pastor's perseverance and for God's providence in leading us to a place where we could worship on a Sunday morning 3,000 miles from our home.  We sang familiar songs and even met some fellow Okies.  Mostly, though, I was encouraged by a young man sitting near the front of the church.  Continue reading here.