Last Day and Summer Plans

The last day of school is always bittersweet.  In some ways, everyone is antsy for that bell to ring at 3:00 so they can rush home to don their swimsuits for the first time or enjoy a cookout on the back porch.  In other ways, no one really wants to leave.  The kids are sad to leave their teachers, and their teachers are all wondering, "Did I do enough to help them?  Will they be okay over the summer?"  In either case, everyone needs a break.  And after 175 days of teaching have come and gone, one of the most glorious benefits of being a teacher finally arrives: sweet summertime. 

People always ask me about my summer plans, and I have had plenty of activities to rattle off in years past.  When people have asked about this year, the crickets chirp.  I have very few plans, so I could easily waste all kinds of time.  To avoid sitting around sleeping until noon and then playing Wii or laying out by the pool for the rest of the day, I have made some summer goals.

*Run at least 350 miles.  My original plan was to run 500 miles, but Andrew convinced me that that is crazy, so I scaled it down a little.  So far, I have logged 21 miles. 

*Read at least 6 books.  I love to read but don't do it nearly as much as I would like.  Two books per month seems reasonable, right?

*Write a book.  Don't worry, I'm sure it won't be worth reading, but I have wanted to write something for awhile, so here it goes.

*Get two classrooms ready for the fall.  Since I'll be spending my mornings at one school and my afternoons at another (I'll be a resource teacher at both places), I'll probably have twice as much work initially.  But, I'm really excited about next year and want to be ready to hit the ground running on August 22 when the kids come.

*Look into grad school.  I have been wanting to get my Master's degree in Reading Education for a couple of years now but have put that idea on the back burner with Andrew being in seminary.  (We'd have bill collectors lining up at our door if we were both in school at the same time).  I hadn't thought about going back to school in months until Andrew came in the other day and said, "Hey babe, I think you should look into grad school if you want."  Well, okay.  My options for school are a little more limited than his because he can do so much of his degree online, so he is willing to wait for me.  What a guy.

*Hang out with people.  That seems obvious, right?  Actually, I am such a homebody that I could probably run my errands or lay out by the pool and be perfectly content to not see anyone I know until Andrew gets home.  This summer, I'm planning to hang out with people during the day at least four times per week, and we'd like to have people to our house for dinner/games/movies 1-2 times per week.  If you're lucky, we might invite you over!
  
*Work at camp.  I'll be working at the Oklahoma Youth Leadership Forum for a week in June, and I also hope to volunteer at Camp Summit in Texas for a week.  Look at those little guys.  Wouldn't you want to volunteer at camp?  (Wow, those are old pictures.)

Aside from all of that, June is apparently wedding month, so we'll be pretty busy watching people tie the knot.  We're also planning on taking a Texas vacation in July.  I think it will be a great summer.  And I'm not going to feel guilty for sitting around occasionally or sleeping late.  Or playing a few too many rounds of Mario Kart. 

The Hills We Die On

I'm hesitant to even publish this post.  I've been going through a "crisis of faith" over the past year or so, and I don't like for people to see my weakness.  But, everyone needs a space to just say what they think.  You might not understand or agree with everything I say, but this is my space to be honest.  I don't necessarily want advice.  In fact, perhaps some of the most hurtful things I have experienced over the past year have been receiving people's unwanted advice or flippant responses to some very difficult questions.  I know that I need to trust God, that "everything happens for a reason" and that "it will all be okay in the end."  I know.  Sometimes all I need is someone to listen without interjecting, "Oh, I know what that's like" or "I have experienced something similar when..."  Just listening and not immediately trying to "fix" me or my issues can be so powerful.

I'm writing for the above reasons, but mostly I am writing for this one.  Over the course of this recent struggle, I have felt either completely crazy or totally alone.  So I'm chronicling my journey primarily in the hopes that maybe someone reading this, someone who has felt completely crazy or totally alone, will take comfort in the fact that probably neither of those things are true.  For sure not the "alone" part.  So reader, if this is you, take heart.  

All of that said, here are just a few of my thoughts lately.    

Go on up to the mountain of mercy
To the crimson perpetual tide
        Kneel down on the shore
Be thirsty no more

Go under and be purified

Follow Christ to the holy mountain
Sinner sorry and wrecked by the fall
Cleanse your heart and your soul
In the fountain that flowed
For you and for me and for all...

The mountain of mercy.  The holy mountain.  Golgatha.  Calvary.  The hill where Jesus died.

Call it whatever you want, but I don't think that the hill Jesus died on and the hill(s) most Christians die on are the same one.  This issue has been one of the main things that has confused me and made me question who God is lately.  For my whole life, I have never really questioned what exactly I believe and why.  [No wonder people think Christians are idiots.  Exhibit A: Mary Rachel Fenrick.]  I have always had my lists of "Christian Do's and Don'ts" and have been ever so careful to stick to those.  Don't drink alcohol until you're 21.  Do volunteer for Such and Such Christian Activity.  Don't have sex oustide of marriage.  Do tithe 10% of your income.  Don't steal.  Do read your Bible every day.  There are some other, perhaps less obvious, but equally divisive issues.  Don't vote Democrat.  Do homeschool your children.  Moms, don't work outside the home.  Kids, listen to only Christian music.  Do go to a Baptist church because of ABC.  Don't go to a non-demoninational church because of XYZ.

For so long, I have tied myself to these issues, thinking that they are what saves me.  The conclusion I have come to recently is this:  Perhaps those issues are important (some of them definitely are).  Maybe you should have an opinion about them.  The problem becomes when you, like I have done, stake your life on those things or, "choose those hills to die on".  Because then, the Christian life becomes about the Christian and his viewpoint instead of the Christ. 

To be honest, I'm still confused about what a Christian should look like.  But I don't really think it looks like someone who wraps her life around anything except the Ultimate thing, tries to be her own savior, or convinces others that their only hope is to believe the exact same way she does about some above-mentioned, non-essential things (aka, "old Mary Rachel").  I do know that a Christian is supposed to look like Christ, who actually only died on one hill, the one mentioned in the song.  He died on the hill to save all types of people from all types of sins.  That's it.  He didn't die on the Republican hill or the anti-abortion hill, however important those hills may be.  Just the one.       

Christian, would you, with me, try to get the most important thing right first?  I'm not good at this.  I'm often a Pharisee.  But I think that the only way to true freedom for you, for me, and for everyone is to stop carrying our crosses up the hills that we have created and start following Christ to the one hill.

Non-Christian, would you be willing to forgive us?  You're absolutely right about the Christians not being much like the Christ.  I think that one of the reasons I have been so confused about Christianity lately is because I have been looking to Christians to define it for me instead of to Christ.  I want my questions answered and my doubts assuaged.  But I don't think people can do that for me.  So would you, with me, attempt to look at who Jesus really is instead of at Christians, who (myself included) are such inaccurate representations?                        

Homeland and Other Coupon Adventures

As promised, I am posting about why I shop at Homeland.  This will probably only be interesting for a few people, but I hope it is helpful!  If you don't live near a Homeland, most of these principles probably apply to places like Kroger, Tom Thumb, Albertson's, etc.  Just check with your local grocery store to see if they double or triple coupons.

Let me just say that I still love Aldi.  You can check out my post about Aldi here.  I still get most of my meat and produce at Aldi.  The reason I shop at Homeland is because of coupons.  If you don't have time for coupons or live right next to an Aldi, I absolutely recommend it.

If you're thinking, "Homeland is SO expensive," you're right.  Unless... you're willing to spend about an hour a week to meal plan, clip coupons from the Sunday paper, and make a grocery list.  Let me give an example of some items from my most recent Homeland shopping trip:

-Dole Iceberg salad mix- $0.99 (regularly $3+)
-2 bottles of Kraft BBQ sauce- $0.18 for both (regularly $1.29 each)
-3 bottles of Pantene shampoo/conditioner- $1.47 for all three (regularly $4+ per bottle)
-Mrs. Baird's wheat bread- $1.24 (regularly $2.99)
-Hiland ice cream- $1.50 (regularly $3+)
-24 oz. Hiland cottage cheese- $0.78 (regularly $2+)
-8 pack Lance cheese and crackers- $0.49 (regularly $2+)
-2 boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios- $1.19 each (regularly $4+ per box)
-Alexia sweet potato fries- FREE! (reguarly $2+ each)
-2 bags of Doritos- $1.15 per bag (regularly $4+ per bag)
-Sargento swiss cheese slices- $1.25 (regularly $2.99)
-PAM cooking spray- $1.59 (regularly $3.59)
-Cutter insect repellant- $2.49 (regularly $4.99)

TOTAL:  $16.66 (without tax)
Estimated total without coupons and sales (without tax):  $57.16

That's a 71% savings, folks!  How did I do it?

1.  Menu Planning and Stocking "Staples"
To avoid standing in an aisle and wondering, "Do I really need this box of popcorn?", I never go to the grocery store without a grocery list.  This usually means that I plan out all of the meals I plan to cook for a week, check to see which ingredients I don't have, and make a list to get those ingredients.  Usually the list of things I actually need to get for the week is VERY minimal, which means that most of the things I buy at the store are things that I don't need right away (huh?).  Let me explain.  I keep a small stockpile of "staples" in my pantry, such as tomato sauce, pasta, flour, cereal, peanut butter, rice, tomato soup, cream of chicken soup, cake mix, taco seasoning, BBQ sauce, jelly, nuts, green chiles, canned tomatoes, canned beans, etc.  My "staples" are things that rarely go bad and can be used to make a variety of dishes (your staples might not be the same as mine).  So, when I'm making my menu for the week, I check my stockpile of staples and try to cook from it as much as possible.  Now that I have a fairly good stockpile going, I don't buy very many ingredients for any particular meal.  All of that said, I sometimes end up getting things that I don't need that particular week but may be used later.  That way, when I REALLY need something, I will have already bought it for $0.50 because it was on sale or I had a coupon instead of being in a time crunch and having to buy that same item at its regular price, which is usually 50-80% more expensive.

2.  Clipping Coupons
It's that simple.  Just cut coupons out of the Sunday paper or print them from Coupons.com.  My rule of thumb on clipping coupons is, "When in doubt, cut it out!"  Meaning, even if you see a coupon for a brand you wouldn't NORMALLY buy, cut it out anyway.  Who wants to turn down free stuff?  Heinz ketchup really doesn't taste very different than Hunt's. 

3.  Matching Up Store Deals with Coupons
-If you live in Oklahoma, you're in luck with CouponCloset.net.  This lady does all of the dirty work for you so that if you click on "Store Deals" and go to "Homeland," all you have to do is click on the items you want to buy that week and print out your grocery list.  Sometimes you might also need to print some coupons, but she puts the links directly on there for you.
-If you don't live in Oklahoma, this may be slightly more complicated for you, but there are other websites similar to Coupon Closet that allow you to do similar things.  The basic principle of any of these websites is that someone looks through the store's weekly ads for the things that are on sale and then matches the sale items with coupons.  For example, let's say that Kraft BBQ Sauce normally costs $1.29.  This week, the Homeland ad says that it is on sale for $1.09.  I also happen to have a coupon for $1.00 off on two bottles of Kraft BBQ Sance.  So, after the coupon doubles (which I'll explain in a minute), I am getting both bottles of BBQ sauce for just $0.18.
-Sometimes you just have to buy meat, priduce, milk, or other items that might not be on sale.  Just bite the bullet.  There isn't a coupon or a sale for everything.  It's okay.  When you're first getting started on the coupon train, you might save 30% in a shopping trip instead of 71%.  Don't worry about it.  It gets easier.

4.  Understanding Coupon Rules
As I mentioned previously, Homeland doubles coupons.  In fact, they double any coupon up to a $1.00 value, any day of the week.  Your local grocery store might even triple coupons.  What does that mean?  It means that if my coupon says, "$1.00 off any two bottles any variety of Kraft BBQ Sauce", it will double so that I actually get $2.00 off any two bottles of the product.  A coupon that reads "$0.75 off one box of Honey Nut Cheerios" actually means that I'll get $1.50 off.  Pretty neat, huh?  There are a few more rules about coupons at Homeland.  Feel free to ask me about them.  

Maybe this will be enough to at least get you started.  Feel free to post any questions on here and I'll try to answer them.  I'm no expert, but I have certainly learned a thing or two in the past year or so of couponing.  It really can be fun and is kind of a game to me every time to see how much I can save.

Do you have any shopping tips or tricks?

Wednesdays

Wednesdays are my new favorite day of the week.

I used to really love Sundays.  Church, a delicious home cooked meal (often with friends or family), then napping all afternoon.  Sundays stopped being my favorite day of the week last year when I would literally sometimes throw up at the thought of going back to work the next day.  Napping all afternoon wasn't happening either; I hardly slept at all last year.

I also used to really love Saturdays.  Okay, maybe I still do love Saturdays, most of them anyway.

But Wednesdays take the cake.  My work schedule is reversed on Wednesdays, so I don't go in until 11:30 most weeks.  This means I get to sleep in (I consider waking up at 6:30 or 7:00 "sleeping in" these days).  Sometimes I go for a run before it gets too hot.  Sometimes I meet friends for coffee.  But I ALWAYS go for my weekly grocery trip to Homeland.  I'll have to do another post about why shopping at Homeland makes my day every time.  I realize I'm probably a "super nerd" for saying that grocery shopping is one of my favorite things to do each week, but who doesn't get a thrill out of saving 60+ percent every time they go to the grocery store?

After I have put my groceries away, it's usually time for work, which I actually love.  If you don't have a job that you enjoy, I feel sorry for you.

At the end of the day, I might go work out or tie up some other loose ends (or, like I did today, plant an herb garden).  Then Andrew comes home, usually just in time for our new favorite TV show, The Middle.  (You should watch this show.  I think we love it so much because it's so "average American."). Wednesday nights are the best TV nights because right after Suburgatory (eh, not a huge fan of this one.  Sometimes it's so Flower Mound, TX, it makes me sick) comes Modern Family.  We don't sit around and watch TV all the time, I promise.  Only on Wednesdays.

After our shows are over, it's time for my favorite part of the day, Wednesday Walks, which is exactly what it sounds like- Andrew and I go for a long walk around the neighborhood.  Do you ever look up only to realize that an entire week (or sometimes longer!) has gone by and you haven't even really talked to your significant other?  I hate that.  We're making an effort to do better, and I think we've both noticed that a little communication and about an hour of quality time on Wednesday nights can really go a long way.

Life is about savoring the simple things.  There isn't really anything exceptional about my Wednesdays, but maybe that's why I've come to love them so much.   I'm the world's biggest fan of consistency and simplicity.

What's your favorite day of the week and why?

A Lesson in Humility

Do you ever think that you're invincible?  You know, that you can do anything without getting hurt, worn down, or burned out?  Yeah, me neither. *Ahem.*

After running a marathon, the state of my foot has been a simple reminder that I can't do it all.  A couple of mornings ago, I nearly threw up when I stepped out of bed because the top of my foot hurt so badly.  (Thankfully, I think it is just swollen and not a stress fracture.  It still feels miserable.)  But a sore foot wasn't enough to stop me from going out for a run. I thought to myself, "Hey, I ran a marathon 2 days ago.  I think I'll go run 9 miles this morning.  Ain't no thang!" Wrong.  Not only did my foot hurt worse than ever, but my toenail fell off as soon as I got home because there was a huge blister underneath and my socks were bloody from another blister on my pinky toe.  Oh, and I didn't even end up running 9 miles.  Surprise, Mary Rachel!  You can't do it all.

I left the Band-aids on for everyone's sake.

I'm not just this way about running.

"Hey Mary Rachel, can you blah blah blah at such and such time?"
"Oh sure, I already have another commitment at that time, but I'll just be in two places at once of course!"

When I needed to score well on a test in college, I'd just study my little heart out at the expense of everything else and I'd make an A.

If my kids at work ever need anything, I pour my soul into my job, often neglecting my husband, my friends, and even my personal well-being.  But by golly, I make sure my job is done well.

There is value in living this way, to a certain extent only.  It's good to work hard.  It's good to not be lazy.  But it's not good to always be trusting in your own strength to get things done, because you WILL get worn out and you WILL fail sometimes.

As the school year is coming to a close (just 3 more short weeks!), I can't help but thinking how, like my foot, the whole year has been a huge lesson in humility.  I feel like I have found a reasonable balance in my life for the first time in ages.  I still err on the side of busyness just for the sake of being busy, but I am doing better.  The humility lesson comes in the fact that I often feel guilty for leaving work when the half day is over because, surprise!, I can't solve the world's problems in the short amount of time I am there.  (Newsflash, MR, you couldn't solve the world's problems even if you were there all day.)  I think back to last year when I was literally falling apart and how I just kept going because I thought I was invincible.  This year hasn't been quite like that, but I often find myself trying to justify the reasons why I am not constantly busy, when it really needs no justification.  I've been humbled in learning that my job, and most other things in my life, really aren't dependent on how how well I perform.  I'm not "super wife," super runner," or "super teacher." For awhile that wasn't okay with me, but it's more okay now than it ever has been.

All of this said, I'm actually going back to working full time next year.  I hope that I can somehow maintain the balance and remember the lessons that I've learned this year.  Until then, you'll probably find me erring on the side of laziness with a book in hand by the pool.  Being a teacher certainly has its perks in the summertime.  :-)

"I'll never run another marathon again."

True story, I said those words and totally meant them a little over two years ago when I ran my first marathon.  Everything about that race was terrible.  (Okay, actually the weather was great.)  I didn't run enough miles beforehand, definitely didn't run enough hills, trained by myself, and practiced in 12 degree weather.  Yes, you read that correctly.  TWELVE degrees outside. 

Then race day came.  Not only did I burst into tears because I had to go to the bathroom so bad and we were stuck in traffic even trying to get to the stupid race (remember that, Dad?), but I couldn't find Andrew during the race to give me my much-needed energy gel.  I don't know why I was thinking that would even work in the first place; you know, only about 20,000 people run these things and the chances of you spotting your spectators along the way are slim.  I've never experienced anything quite as miserable as the last six miles of that race.  Somehow it finally ended.  And then I promised myself and everyone else that I would never run 26.2 miles again.

Funny thing is, though, I obviously ran a marathon again.  So what changed my mind?
1.  I didn't have to train in the middle of winter.
2.  I waited two years before reconsidering my options.  Strange how time makes you forget painful things.  
3.  I decided to hold onto my energy gel (Gu, for you runners out there) at all times.
4.  I trained with a friend.
Mostly #4 changed my mind.  Gosh, I don't know how I used to run for four hours at a time by myself.  Talking with Jessie along the way not only helped me to forget about the cramps shooting through my legs on our 22-mile run, but she motivated me to even get out the door in the first place.  Also, after training for 18 weeks and having to find things to talk about for hours at a time, you either end up really loving someone or really thinking that they're annoying.  I think I made a lifelong friend just by training for a race.  Love you, Jessie.

Marybeth and Molly, my sweet Texas friends. 

April 29, 2012, was not even comparable to February 27, 2010.  So many people came to cheer me on.  It's crazy how just one person cheering for you on the sidelines can build an adrenaline rush that will carry you for miles.  Thanks so much to Molly, Marybeth, and Andrew especially for waking up far before the crack of dawn to go with me.

Andrew's family, Jessie's parents, and several of our other friends were also there.  I was so happy.  Friends (Mal, Ryan, Steve, Bethany, Julie), you probably think it's a little thing to be cheerleaders on the side of the road, but I promise you that it isn't.

Hubs is my biggest fan.

Andrew's sweet family.  Our niece and nephews were obviously thrilled to be there, haha.

 It did start raining... but I'd take rain over heat anyday. 

Ew, look at those hot messes.

I trained much better this time around.  When Gorilla Hill kicked our tails at the race, Jessie and I both looked at each other and said, "We should have trained more hills."  But overall, we did what we should have done beforehand, didn't get upset stomachs, and had a great experience.  When you're running with 3,000 other people, you probably aren't planning on winning.  At least I'm not.  So I was thrilled to have beat my personal goal by just crossing the finish line in one piece, 4 hours and 24 minutes later. 

See, I was smiling because I saw someone I knew!

The home stretch...

I know it's cliche, but running a marathon really is a good metaphor for life.  After running about 23 miles, I began to experience pain in my legs and feet like I've never felt before.  All I wanted to do was to give up and stop running.  The mile marker flags seemed to get farther and farther apart as the course seemed to be endless.  Eventually, though, I finished.  And the feeling at the end of the race was so much more glorious because of having gone through the pain.  No one ever wants to hurt.  We all want the easy way out.  But the easy way is not always the best way, and the lessons learned are always worth the pain.

Enjoy the rest of the pictures.  :-)

So happy to be finished, and to have done it together.  :-)

26.2 miles later!

My awesome friends stayed through the rain to cheer for us.

The man who got me into running in the first place.  :-)

   

Why I still believe in public education

Disclaimer: It is not my intention in this post to convince you to send your kids to public school.  Or private school or homeschool, for that matter.  I cannot do that, nor is it my place to do so.  Only you know your kids, so you get to decide what you think is best for them.  The thoughts below are merely my opinions and some observations I have had lately. In a word, I still believe in public education because of teachers. As I was sitting at a teacher award banquet earlier this week, I was struck by the number of outstanding individuals that were all sitting in the same room.  These people are intelligent, creative, passionate, and driven.  I have learned a lot in my two years of teaching, and most of it is attributed to the fact that I have stolen ideas from my coworkers.  Most of all, though, the people in the room that night are caring.  Many of them pour their lives into their jobs, and it is certainly not because they get paid to do so.  They do it because they love kids, and because once they get into the classroom and see those faces, caring is really the only option. I am not discounting the fact that there are bad teachers.  Of course there are, just as there are lazy, apathetic people in every profession.  In my lifetime, I have only had a very small handful of these teachers, but it only takes one teacher like this to know that they do exist.  But at least in Norman, the number of good teachers far surpasses the number of bad ones.  I wouldn't send my kids to school just anywhere. One of the speakers at the banquet that night is a SWAT Team member.  He told a story of entering a house one morning where two children, ages five and ten, lived.  The kids' parents were passed out on the couch from a drug overdose.  Meanwhile, the children had gotten themselves up, gotten dressed, and were in the kitchen packing their lunches.  When the SWAT Team member walked over to talk to the children, the oldest one looked up at the officer with tears of desperation in his eyes and asked, "Sir, will we still get to go to school today?" You see, for many kids whose home lives are wrecked, public education is their best hope.  It is at school where they can find consistency,  get a balanced meal, learn the skills they need to break the cycle of poverty and abuse in their families, feel safe, and hear from at least one person that they are worth something.  I always try to remind my students that, in the words of Aibileen from The Help, "You is kind.  You is smart.  You is important." Because once my students walk out the front doors from school every day, I'm not sure when they will hear those words again.  I can't even wrap my head around what some of these six-year-olds have to deal with on a daily basis. I am not always great at my job.  In fact, there are days when I feel like a complete and utter failure.  On those days, I am especially thankful that I am not in this profession alone.  They say that "it takes a village to raise a child.". As part of "the village," I am glad that there are other teachers who are willing to put more work into a child than only what is necessary.  I'm inspired when I see other "village people" making shy kids speak up, teaching a child to read despite the fact that his parents never finished high school, or donating a coat to a boy who doesn't have one.  Ultimately, I believe that it is a parent's responsibility to raise his or her children.  But for those children whose parents cannot or will not do that, someone must stand in the gap.  And that is where "the village" comes in.  Because teaching isn't primarily about academics; it is about love. No, I don't think public education is the answer for every child.  But I do wonder where some kids would be if they didn't have a place to escape the harsh reality of their broken homes for eight hours a day, or a teacher who believed that they had inherent value because they are made in the image of God.  I think that public schools may offer the first glimmer of hope that some kids have ever had.  And that is why I haven't given up on it yet.