Tuesday, February 7, 2012

One Student

I'm sure you remember that one teacher who stood out from all the rest. If you're as fortunate as me, you might even have more than one that comes to mind. She made school worthwhile for you. She changed the way you thought about life. She made you a better person. It's hard to forget those teachers.

As a teacher myself now, I didn't imagine that I would have students who would change everything for me. All of my students are wonderful in their own unique ways, but I have one who stands out in particular. Though I plan to teach many more years, I think that my first year will always stand out- for many reasons but especially because of J.

I got to go to J's birthday party this weekend. I'm not sure how I got invited, really. J and I went round and round when I was his teacher last year:

"J, you need to get off the computer now. Your timer already went off."
"But wait! I just need to beat this level."
"J, computer time is a privilege, so if you choose not to get off now, you will not have time tomorrow."
"I don't wanna do that stupid work!" (as he bangs the keys on the keyboard and slams the mouse).

Or...

"J, I want you to try to read this for me."
He tries. Then, "Oh, I can't do it! It's just too much hard!"
"Let's try it again. I'll help you this time."
He tries, then gets frustrated again, rips up his paper, and throws it on the floor.
"J, you'll have to do it again. You know that's not acceptable."
"Mrs. Fenrick, I just don't like you very much."

But somehow he still wanted me to come to his birthday party on Sunday. I know I didn't do anything special for J, but I guess at the end of the day, he knew I loved him. I'm not sure you can explain to a six-year-old how tough love is the best or that the things he really doesn't want to do are for his good. But maybe somehow he understood.

J had a great birthday party. Friends and family, presents to cover the floor, and enough cupcakes to run out his ears. I'm sure he felt like the lucky one, but I think it was actually me.

Because although there was never a dull moment in my class with J, I did love him at the end of every day. It is hard not love a little guy whose smile melts my heart every time and who puts humor into trying situations. Mostly, he has reminded me what it means to be forgiving. I had him do unpreferred activities all the time last year and took away all kinds of privileges. He would get so mad at me. But when J would get off the bus every morning, it was truly a new day to him. He would grab my hand, and we would go off to face the world together.

When J ran out of the house to give me a hug at his birthday party, I realized that teachers have the best job in the world. And sometimes it's all because of one student.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Grace

I want to believe that there is grace for all people, and even on my darkest days, I still think there is. I think there is grace for liars, for thieves, for adulterers, and for murderers of all kinds. Grace for even me. Because even though those things are wrong, in my heart of hearts I believe that forgiveness can be found for the most wicked of us all.

People want to tell their stories. I think that we all could do a better job of listening. There is certainly a place to speak the truth in love, but let us not forget that one of the biggest elements of truth is the story of the Cross, where vile sinners can plunge themselves beneath the blood poured out and find themselves washed whiter than snow. As people share their stories, let's really hear them. And then let's share the greatest story ever told.

I don't know much these days, but I do know that arrogance never won any souls for Christ. May my life and my words be marked by humility.