Thankful

My blog has been quiet lately, as you may have noticed.  For one, I've been super busy.  Sixty-or-seventy-hour-work-weeks busy.  Wake-up-at-4:30-for-marathon-training busy.  (Good news: Andrew is making me work less, and the marathon is over.)  But really, I have just had a lot on my mind and have been unsuccessful in trying to collect my thoughts.

I've been thinking a lot about thankfulness.  I'm one of the many who has jumped on the "Thirty Days of Thanks" bandwagon and flooded Facebook with reasons to be happy.  The idea seemed dumb to me at first.  (Shouldn't people be thankful all the time??)  Honestly, though, I have enjoyed seeing the positivity on my NewsFeed every day, as opposed to snarky comments related to presidential candidates, or grumblings about one's terrible job/husband/kids.  More than anything, "Thirty Days of Thanks" has been good for my own ungrateful self.  In the midst of this crazy month of November, two stories in particular have reminded me that thankfulness has nothing to do with what you actually have and everything to do with the state of your heart.

One.

I stumbled across a blog of this woman whose daughter just died after being alive for four hours.  Four hours!  The thing is, Sarah knew that this would happen since Baby Evie was 20 weeks old and doctors discovered a rare and fatal disease in her.  Sarah carried her baby for almost 20 more weeks, knowing that it would die.  Wrap your mind around that for a minute.  Sarah's story amazes me because she never once complains about her situation.  She finds ways, however small, to be grateful.  You need to read her blog.  You'll cry your eyes out, like I have, and then you'll count your many blessings.

Two.

One of my students, Taylor (that's not really his name, and he may or may not be a boy), lights up my world at work.  Taylor comes to school dirty and hungry most days.  His parents, though supportive, are unemployed and undereducated.  They have at least a couple more mouths to feed at home, aside from Taylor's.  And they (Taylor included) are among the sweetest people I have ever met.  When Taylor gets to choose from my Treasure Box for good behavior (which he always exhibits), he could not be more excited.  I have silly little prizes in there, like Playdough or funky pencils, but to Taylor, it's a pot of gold.  One time, he chose a prize that another student had been eyeing.  "That's okay, Chris.  You can have it," Taylor said as he handed it over.  That's not all.  Our school recently had "Share Your Shelf" week for families who need food for Thanksgiving.  Taylor's family is exactly the type who would benefit from this food drive, but wouldn't you know- he was the only one in his class who brought something to share.  Thankfulness is not about what you have. 

Even as I sit in my warm, cozy house with my loving husband and a refrigerator full of food, my restless heart can always find reasons to complain.  (I don't want to clean today.  I hate making dinner.  My job can be stressful.  My marathon time was terrible.  We don't have a baby and I want one.)  Just within this month, I've realized that being thankful doesn't mean ignoring the hard facts of life- it just means remembering the blessings.  Maybe I hate making dinner, but we always have dinner to eat.  My marathon time was a personal worst, but I can run!  My job can be stressful, but at least I have one.  We don't have a baby, but we have each other.

Life is hard, but it's good, too.  In our current phase when things sometimes feel as though they are spinning out of control, a simple, "Thank you, God, for this life and XYZ" at the beginning of my days has changed everything.

Why are you thankful this year?