Choose kindness.

You might be sick of hearing about the Duck Dynasty controversy, so if that's the case, you can just shut this tab.  (I won't be offended.)  In an effort to form my own opinions on the issue, I've not read many blogs in the last couple of days.  I've seen the Facebook posts, and I've read Phil Robertson's interview.  I know what I think about the subject, and obviously, so does everyone else.  Really, though, this blog post isn't about Duck Dynasty; it's about the lost art of choosing kindness.

Let's get a few things straight.

I love Duck Dynasty.  Some of the humor is manufactured, I'm sure, but I still find the show entertaining.  I'm a country girl at heart, so I love guns, fishing, home-cooked meals, four-wheeling, and everything outdoors.  Like many Southerners, and like the characters on the show, I also love God, family, and tradition.

But I think Phil Robertson is wrong.

He isn't wrong for standing firm in his beliefs, but for being careless with his words.

No one should be surprised that Phil is against homosexuality.  However, there is a definite difference between saying, "I don't agree with that lifestyle" and essentially, "What kind of sick, twisted idiots live that way?!"  Phil's statements pridefully placed himself above others, forgetting the fact that he and the rest of us are just humans in need of kindness and grace.  Phil's beliefs may be valid.  His general point about Christians wrongly minimizing sin may be, as well.  But he lost all credibility when his commentary became crude and cold-hearted.       

I teach Pre-K, and a common scenario in my classroom is that one student will hit or kick another.  Inevitably, the victim will come running to me immediately, exclaiming, "Mrs. Fenrick, he hit me!"  Then, almost always, the perpetrator will say, "But I said sorry!", expecting to avoid the consequences of his actions.  (It never works, by the way; he's still in trouble.)  In the same way, Phil Robertson (and people in general) cannot avoid the effects of words and actions by tacking on an "it's not my place to judge" statement to the end of a dehumanizing rant.  

As you may or may not know, Hobby Lobby has a case concerning the Obamacare Birth Control Mandate that is going to the Supreme Court.  (I am probably much more aware of this issue than the general public because my husband works for Hobby Lobby, so the company's decisions directly affect us.)   Here, I think we could all learn a lesson from David Green, Hobby Lobby's founder and owner.  Whether or not you agree with Green's principles or stance on the issue at hand, his handling of the entire situation is noteworthy.  Unlike the Chick-fil-A scandal of this summer and the current Duck Dynasty affair, Hobby Lobby's case has not become highly offensive.  I would argue that the reason lies in the way that David Green has handled himself.  So far, he has been able to stand firm in his beliefs without alienating others or putting himself on a pedestal.  He has been kind.  Hats off to you, Mr. Green.  

No one ever changed anyone's mind about anything by being mean.  Choose kindness, and choose your words carefully.