I did it. I bit the bullet, swallowed my pride, and am paying somebody to clean my home every month. She has only come once so far, but already, hiring help has been one of the best decisions I've made in awhile.
To many of you reading this blog, employing a housekeeper probably doesn't seem like a big deal. In fact, you may have had one for months or years. For me, this is huge, and it's really about more than our house. Before Piper was born (and to some extent after, too), I took a lot of pride in making our house look like a museum. Hearing, "Your house looks amazing!" from a guest would swell my already large ego to the size of Texas (although I would undoubtedly feign humility every time). I liked to believe that I really was Superwoman. I could teach full-time, be a wife, run marathons, tutor kids after school, host a small group every week, cook dinner, AND have an immaculate house. I never would have told you, but I looked down on people who made excuses for not exercising, for having laundry on the couch, or for picking up McDonalds for dinner.
The real truth is: I can't do it all. Actually, I've never been able to do it all- that perfect girl on the surface was an illusion. I'm not naive enough to think that the only busy people are the ones with kids; however, for me, having a baby finally made me realize my finitude. There are limited hours in a day, and I am not immune to fatigue or the constraints of a clock.
Several weeks ago, I met with a group of working moms from church and heard all of them say things like, "Oh, we definitely had chicken nuggets for dinner tonight." "The only reason our house is clean right now is because my husband got the kids this afternoon." "We have laundry all over the floor. All the time. I'm too tired and don't care enough to pick it up." There is so much comfort in community. I'm not alone in my chaos and exhaustion.
I have long bought into the notion that women today should be like 1950's housewives: They should pour themselves into chores and slave over elaborate meals every night, all while wearing sexy dresses and having flawless hair and makeup. Hats off to women who can still do all of that; it isn't my life.
Here's the deal: Most people have to-do lists that are miles long, every single day. But not everything on that list can be a priority. The most important things for me are primarily my relationships and then my work, so I am very slowly having to let go of some things in order to focus on my priorities. I want to be a great mom, but I think that the things I teach her are far more significant than having organic, homemade suppers every night. I want to be a great wife, but
making time for my husband is more critical than always looking put-together (and thankfully, Andrew says that sweatpants and a ponytail can still be sexy). I want to be a great friend, but sometimes that means meeting someone at a coffee shop instead of stressing myself (and her!) out to have her over. I want to be a great teacher, but I am significantly less effective when I am not
rested and not seeing my family. I want to have a gorgeous home, but, meh. At this point, if it's clean and safe, that's good enough.
The bottom line is this: I'm not a failure when I have to ask for help. (Neither are you!). If I can hire someone to deep clean the house and that frees me to do more of the things in my life that matter most, the few extra bucks were more than worth it. This step was small but necessary, if for no other reason than the fact that my pride in my own abilities probably needed to be crushed. While there are seasons of life that may be busy, I don't have to be pull-my-hair-out-crazy all the time. Thank goodness.
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