On Community

I remember going to my first Senior Night at RUF as a freshman in 2007. As the seniors were reflecting on their time at OU and giving advice to us younger students, the one thing that I remember everyone saying was something about community. I didn't even know what that word meant at the time. The topic has come up on several occasions as of late, probably because our last Book Club selection was a book about Christian community (Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer). I'm still not sure I really know exactly what community means, but I have learned a few things about it.

1. Community is not guaranteed. I think that people usually hang out with the people they do in hopes of building deep relationships. I do. However, Bonhoeffer points out in his book that God does not have to grant us these relationships. They are blessings which are too often taken for granted.

2. Communities change. The group of people I hung out with in 2007 is not exactly the same group I hang out with now. People grow up and move on with their lives, which means movement to and from communities. With every loss or addition of a person, the dynamics of the community change. Sometimes I wish this didn't have to be the case. I don't like to see friends move away, but such is life. With new people moving into communities, there are also opportunities for new friendships.

3. Community means knowing people. Not just hanging out with them, but asking them questions. Hard questions. Getting into their business. Listening. Caring. Forgiving. Loving.

4. Community means being known by people. Yikes. That means all my sin comes out for everyone to see. It means that people ask me hard questions. It means that I must ask others for forgiveness. It means that people see me for exactly who I am... which is not always pleasant.

5. Community is hard, but so worth it. I don't always like for people to see me for me. It's easier to put on a front and pretend that I have everything together. It's easier to have superficial relationships, to sit at home, to live for oneself, to not invest energy in others, to not talk about the dark and broken places of one's soul. But none of that is genuine and none of that makes you grow. None of that provides as much joy as going through the challenge.

Andrew and I have community here in Norman. We have had it to some extent in other places, but never like we have it here, mostly through RUF and UFC. And by God's grace, we are different, better people because of it.