Giving

I was the recipient of a random act of kindness at school just before the break.  When I went to check my mailbox in the teacher's workroom, I found a single white envelope with my name on it.  I opened it to find the following note:

"Dear Mary Rachel,
I think you are a great teacher.  I am able to share this year and I want you to have this.  I hope you will use it to buy something just for you."

Inside were two $50 giftcards to JC Penny.  The note was typed and not signed, so I had no way of tracing the giver.

I think most of us (including me) miss the reason for the holidays.  Giving and receiving is wonderful, but we often forget why we do it.  Oh, we weave our way amongst the holiday crowds at the mall in search of the perfect gift for that "special someone," but isn't this often out of obligation?  Don't we sometimes give gifts at Christmas just because that's what we're supposed to do?  Not only was I humbled last week by this anonymous person's generous gift, but I was reminded of why we should give.  It's not because of any good in the person on the receiving end.  (I didn't deserve that gift any more than any other teacher at school).  It shouldn't be because giving makes us feel better about ourselves upon seeing the other person open our wonderfully creative and expensive gift.  (The person who blessed me with such kindness intentionally gave anonymously.)  It is not because we expect anything in return.  (I cannot reciprocate the random act of kindness because I cannot trace the giver.)  Giving should simply be done because we recognize a need and joyfully desire to meet it... just because we can.  Giving is about caring and sacrificing for another person, whether they deserve it or not.  Giving is about love.

Isn't that the example Christ set?

"Now the whole world will not be the same

Because Love has come down, and Grace has a name..." 

The Professional Life

Last night, we had some friends over who are in a very similar situation as us.  They are newly married, he is in school, she is working full-time and feeling overwhelmed, many of their friends have moved away... all factors which prompted a conversation about how different our lives are now than they were a year ago. 

In school, most of my decisions affected only me.  Will I sleep a little later and study less for that test?  Will I go to this meeting tonight or should I go to the gym instead?  One of the most important things about school- my grades- didn't matter to anyone but myself.  Now it seems that almost everything I do affects someone else, and often my decisions affect multiple people.  If I forget to tell my kids about a fire drill, someone throws a fit when the alarm sounds.  If I don't send a note home that gymnastics is tomorrow, someone wears a dress and off I go to round up some sort of alternative attire.  More importantly, if I run out of time to cover a subject, it's the kids who suffer.  Suddenly, every decision I make seems significant.  And now, not being perfect bothers me more than ever.

Furthermore, the community of friends which fell into my lap in college has proved to be much more difficult to acquire in a professional setting.  I have wonderful aides, and there are some wonderful people who work at my school, but despite the fact that I spend 8+ hours of my day with these people, I still feel as if I hardly know most of them.  There simply isn't time to have the kinds of life conversations that just happened during a study session or a late game night.  At work, there is only time to talk about the here and now- "Where does Seth need to be right now" or "Did Jason's homework folder make it back to school today?"

Finally, I always thought I was so busy in college and now I am realizing that I had no idea what busy was.  Usually the longest I sit down during the day is for about 15 minutes at lunch.  I have about seventeen things racing through my mind at any given time and also have a to-do list which literally never ends.  When I wake up, I think about school.  When I come home, I work on school.  And then what I used to consider my life (seeing friends, going to bible study, running, etc.) takes up the last and tiniest piece of the pie.  I'm hoping that will change to some degree as the year goes by and I feel a little less like I'm drowning.   

I love to walk around the campus of OU still.  There is something so stimulating about being at an institution of higher learning and thinking, "Great minds are being enriched here.  People go out from here to do things that change lives."  But there are also many things about my job which suit me.  Sometimes I complain about being busy, but honestly, I like being busy.  I love the challenge that my job brings because there is hope for overcoming obstacles, and it prevents boredom and monotony.  This may be one of the hardest and best things I've done.

Thought on School [4]

So, I'm not sure if all of this entry could really be considered "thoughts on school," but here goes my random collection of the thoughts that seem to run through my mind and get all smashed together these days...

It's been another crazy week at Roosevelt Elementary.  I am trying to think of a time in my life when I have ever been more tired, and I can't think of one.  This morning, I woke up at 9:30, and it was absolutely glorious.  I have been trying to go to bed early during the week, but my mind never stops thinking about school, so I often lay in bed wide awake despite the fact that my body is exhausted.  The weather is still too hot to go for a run right after school, so if I want to get my workout in for the day, I wake up at 5:00.  Usually by the time I am leaving school (a couple of hours after the kids have gone home), I am out of energy and patience.  Poor Andrew. 

Aside from being constantly tired and having about 6,000 things to do, I suppose one could say that things are going fairly well at school.  Having my own classroom has made a HUGE difference, and sometimes the kids are hilarious.  I find myself trying to stifle laughter sometimes when I should be telling the children "that's not how we act at school." 

Andrew is loving his new job.  I got to go see his office last night, and it is beautiful.  It seems like a much more relaxed environment than PayCom was, and I think he will be happy here.  He is also loving seminary.  Hearing him come home and talk about everything he is learning makes me wish that I was able to take seminary classes.  Andrew is very busy, too.  Sometimes I feel like we hardly see each other or know what is going on in each others' lives despite the fact that we live in the same house.   

Our friends, Adam and Erica, stayed with us last weekend because they are now living in Fort Worth.  It was fun to have them here.  This weekend, we are doing nothing!  Saturdays of waking up whenever we want, making pancakes, and watching college football are rare around here, and we are more thankful for them now than we ever have been.  Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE gamedays here in Norman?  The whole town just comes alive.  That will be one of the things I miss most when we move someday down the road.

Last Sunday, Tim (my brother) got in a terrible car accident in which he hydroplaned off the road, flipped his car, and broke out both windshields.  He walked away with a cut on his toe.  I was reminded of 1. how wonderful God is to take care of his people and 2. how thankful I am for my brother.

We have a mole living in our front yard.  It is funny but actually quite annoying because we keep finding random piles of dirt everywhere.  I also made these things to go in our "Sooner" guest room.  Neither of those things are very interesting notes to end on, but I think I am finished blogging for today.

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

Thoughts on School [3]

People are unbelievable.  Really.  Some are unbelievably rude, arrogant, etc.  But lately, I have been reminded of how unbelievably kind, encouraging, and uplifting people can be.  It's a great thing to remember.

The start of this school year has been hard.  I think I knew it would be, but knowledge doesn't always prepare you for the future.  The other day, my mom asked me if I've thought of a way to explain to people why special ed is so crazy, and after thinking about it for a minute, I answered, "I think because nothing ever goes the way you think it will."  This has been my story since the start of school, but I'm convinced that crazy does not necessarily means bad. I think I'm starting to become satisfied with crazy because:
1.  I'm realizing how much people care.  Some of the teachers at my school have really gone out of their way to encourage me and tell me I'm doing a great job (whether I am or not!).  These little words mean so much to me and help keep me going.  
2.  I'm becoming more flexible.  A personality test at inservice this week confirmed what I've always known about myself- that I am highly organized, obsessive, structured, and often controlling or unbending.  It's good for me to be stretched.
3.  I'm learning to let people help me.  (Yikes!)  I am discovering that I will literally drown and/or have a meltdown every day if I do not ask for help. 
4.  I'm realizing that I cannot be perfect- and it's okay not to be!

I'm finding it easier to have a positive attitude about school.  Despite the meltdowns of students, projectile vomiting, and quitting of one of my aides this week, I have been so much happier than I was at the beginning of the year.  All of this can only be attributed to Christ, who is the reason I know I will be okay.  :-) 

Other news, briefly:
-Andrew is at a church conference in North Carolina this weekend.  I'll miss him, but he has been looking forward to this thing for weeks now.  Matt Chandler, John Piper, and others will be there.  I'm a little jealous!
-Andrew starts a new job on Tuesday.  After starting the bus driver thing, another opportunity randomly landed upon his lap.  Andrew interviewed for the position and got it!  He'll be working about 27 hours each week for a company called QuiBids.  It's an online company, and Andrew will be doing product research.  He is much more excited to have this job than to be driving buses, and I'm excited about the fact that he could possibly end up working from home one day!
-We got to spend Labor Day weekend with my parents.  It is always so refreshing to be at their house!  We also saw Andrew's family on Monday.  A weekend of basically nothing was exactly what we needed.
-Last night, I started leading a bible study with two other girls from church.  We're studying Tim Keller's Counterfeit Gods.  I think it will be a good one!

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel
 

Thoughts on School [2]

I think I could love my job. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but probably soon. 

This week for the first time, I have not felt like I am drowning.  I wouldn't say that I hated going to work before, but the feeling of never getting a chance to breathe did not exactly make me like what I was doing.  Thankfully, I got the support I needed in the addition of a new teacher's aide- my friend, Amanda Willis.  Having an extra person in the room makes everyone's day so much more manageable and enjoyable.  My students are charming, and actually getting to spend some time with them this week has changed my whole perspective on my job!  Oh, I still come every day and am ready to crash basically as soon as dinner is over.  It's exhausting to chase kids around all day and try to calm them when they are having meltdowns, but this week I have actually been happy that I took this job instead of just grateful to have a job.

One unfortunate thing I have noticed is that my work has made me extremely forgetful of anything not related to work.  Normally, I am very organized (too organized, maybe), but I have so much on my mind with school that I haven't left room for organization elsewhere I guess.  I forgot a friend's birthday this week.  :-(  I also forgot to buy insurance.  I woke up yesterday and realized that I hadn't had health insurance for over a week!  I meant to buy it awhile ago and then never thought about it until yesterday.  God is very gracious, and thankfully nothing happened!  I also forgot that we were getting cable for football season installed today.  I turned on the TV when I got home and could not figure out how we got so many channels. 

Now, off to my parents' house for the four day weekend!  Happy Labor Day, everyone!

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

Thoughts on School [1]

In the words of a fellow teacher friend, "Anyone who thinks they are getting an easy 8-3 job (as a teacher) has got a BIG surprise coming."  I didn't think this job would be easy, but I didn't even consider some of the challenges I have had to face already.  I am unsure of how to condense the past week into a blog without rambling about information that matters to no one but me, but in sum, I feel like I am drowning.  Thankfully, I have very few commitments outside of school because I come home and crash as early as possible every day.  Parents are crazy, scheduling is a nightmare, general education teachers are not as understanding of my students as I thought they would be, sharing a room is less than ideal, and I have eaten lunch once since I have been at school.  Word on the street is that I am supposed to be getting another aide for my classroom (Amanda Willis is actually a dear friend of mine!), which would be immensely helpful.  This gives me hope that things will get better.  To a small degree, they already have.  A friend asked me if I was prepared for the fact that things might not get better , and I said I thought so.  And then I said that I might "accidentally" get pregnant at the end of the year if that is the case. Just kidding.

There are some great things about my job, like my students.  No matter how stressed I am, I laugh every day because of them.

"Johnny, you have to tell Mrs. Fenrick when you need to go to the bathroom so you don't wet your pants."
"But I'm sorry!"  Can I have a gummy bear now?"

*Carl is practically yelling in the hall.*
"Carl, you have to turn your voice off when you are in the hallway."
"But I'm trying to tell you that I'll miss you when I get home!"

The teacher who shares my room is wonderful, and my aides are all very helpful and encouraging.  The administrators are great.  These are the things that help me get up in the morning. 

And Andrew.  That sweet man will be greatly rewarded in heaven!  On my first day, he woke up early to make me breakfast.  Yesterday, I came home to find all of the housework done and dinner ordered so that I didn't have to cook.  It sure feels nice to come home.

Speaking of Andrew, I have never seen him so excited about school.  He started his seminary classes on Monday and LOVED it.  The workload is extensive, but his professors all seem to be kind and godly men.  Andrew has never liked or (in his words) "been good at school", but he came home on Monday, excited about the semester ahead.  He said, "I've never sat through a class and been engaged the whole time like I was today."  As far as work goes, Andrew talked to the bus barn and will begin driving school buses again, most likely next week.  This was originally his last resort as far as work goes, but all seems to have worked out this way for our good because the bus barn is right around the corner from us, it pays well, has a perfect schedule for Andrew, and we'll have the same holidays! 

The next four years will probably be difficult for both of us in many ways that we haven't even begun to consider yet, but "the joy of the Lord is our strength."  

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

New Beginnings

Earlier this summer, I said I would revisit the idea of this being the best summer ever.  I have to conclude that this has been a great summer, but not the best summer ever.  Last summer was better.

School started on Thursday.  Wow.  People tell you that your first year is crazy and busy and stressful, but I don't think I quite realized how crazy and busy and stressful it would be.  I can't even really think of how to describe the past two days.  I had this wonderful plan and felt organized and ready going into Thursday.  And then the kids showed up and everything crashed and burned.  The short version is that I simply do not have enough help to run my classroom.  Currently, I have seven students and two aides, which probably sounds like a lot, but students with autism need extensive amounts of one-on-one time.  My students are fairly high-functioning, which means that they are supposed to be going into their general education classrooms for part of the day.  Which means that I have seven kiddos running about six different directions throughout the day.  The aides that I do have are wonderful, but none of us can be everywhere at once.  I was told by my assistant principal that I would be getting another aide, but because of budget cuts, the special education director for the district did not approve one for me.  So somehow, we're going to made things work with what we have.  I already do not have a planning period, but this probably means that I will also never eat lunch.  I just have to keep reminding myself that this job is not about me, but about the kids.  If I need to make sacrifices so that they will get a good education, so be it.  I also have to remember that there are plenty of people who are just wishing that they had any job right now, and I get to do what I love (at least I think I'll love it when things calm down!).  I'm sure that God is using this time to make me more like Himself, so I am very grateful for that.

Tim is back in Norman and stayed with us last week.  I'm not sure how happy he is to be back, but we were definitely glad to have him here!  I love Norman, but I really miss my family sometimes, and Tim is like having a piece of "home" here.  Also, my best childhood friend (Carolyn) was in OKC for the past week and a half on business, so I got to see a lot of her. Here we are in Bricktown one night:

The Fenrick side of the family has had some exciting things happen in the past few weeks.  Adam and Melissa (Andrew's brother and sister-in-law) are back in town after spending a year in Japan.  And, Angie (Andrew's sister) is pregnant with their third kid.  Happy news.

Andrew had his last day of work at Paycom yesterday and starts seminary on Monday!  I am thrilled for him because he has never been excited about school before, and I know that he is really looking forward to this.  I think we are only paying about $40 for all of his school this semester, which is such a blessing.  The Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma is paying for all of his classes and $100 of his books.  Andrew will be taking ten hours of classes, which include Biblical Hermeneutics, Old Testament I, Applied Ministry, and Something Else ["I can't remember what the last one was called." -Andrew].  He is fairly sure that he will be driving school buses for a job while he goes to school.  Several other job opportunities seemed promising, but none of them have worked out, so thankfully the bus barn is literally right around the corner from us, pays $11+/hour, ALWAYS needs bus drivers, and Andrew's license is still valid. 

Life is crazy, but we are blessed.

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

A Delicious Midlife Crisis

I am not quite sure I knew what overwhelmed meant until now.  I can't remember a time in my life when I have had so many new things thrown at me all at once.  Usually, I feel pretty on top of my life with my trusty little planner.  I write down everything I need to do and then joyfully put a thick black line through each item as I accomplish it.  Planners tend to become inefficient, though, when one's To-do List is about a page and a half long, as mine currently is.  The fact that I have a lot to do is probably not the most overwhelming thing, though.  I think the fact that I have so many things to remember is.   For example, the person who gives me my keys to the building is not the same person who gives me the code to stop the alarm when I enter it.  The lady who sets up my email address is not the same lady who changes my mailing address.  My code to use the copy machine is different from my code to log onto the computer.  Stephen comes to my room for 1.5 hours a day, but Jeremy is with me all BUT 1.5 hours a day.  Oh, and I got two new students in the past 3 days.  There are 12 different cables sitting with my computer, but I only actually use six of them and I don't know which six those are.  These are not the things you write in your planner.  These are things you just know.  Well, I guess "you" means people other than myself because I certainly don't know all of the unwritten (and written!) rules yet.  Somehow all of this is supposed to come together before next Thursday when my little students enter the classroom for the first time.  I have never in my life been so nervous for a first day of school.

We have had professional development training over the past few days.  Whenever I am not professionally developing, I am working in my classroom.  Everything about setting up my room has taken far longer than I expected (Exhibit A: Computer Cables), and my plight has been especially interesting because the other autism teacher's room is not finished yet.  Because of this, we will be sharing a room (17 students and 11 adults) for the first couple of weeks of school until her room is finished.  Her things are basically piled in the middle of my room right now because they have nowhere else to go.  I am getting stressed out just thinking about it.  Lately, I have been coming home and crashing at the end of the day because my brain is just overloaded.  Out of everything I have been learning, perhaps one of the most important is that I have a very patient and kind husband who is sweet to me even when I am at the end of my rope and tend to take things out on him at the end of the day.  Poor guy.

All worries aside, I have not lost faith in public schools.  This has been a topic which has arisen on several occasions lately, and all of my experiences with Roosevelt so far have led me to believe that great things are happening in public schools.  I think this is especially true for kids with special needs because public schools provide resources they would not be able to obtain otherwise.  (I do sometimes get nervous, though, in thinking about the fact that kids with autism move so that their neighborhood school will be Roosevelt and they can come to the autism program which I will be teaching.  Ahh!)  Will we send our kids to public school?  I guess that's a question for a later date, but for now, I am so happy to be at Roosevelt and to be a part of all that is going on there. 

On a different note, my best childhood friend, Carolyn, is in Oklahoma City this week!  She is doing a project for work here during the next week and a half, so she will be in and out of our house during that time.  We discovered tonight that this stretch of time will be the longest we've been in the same city since I was nine.

Also, my mom, Nana, and cousin (Shawna) came up this past weekend to visit.  We enjoyed just sitting around and talking, but I would say that by far my favorite thing was playing games with Nana.  She had us all almost in tears because we were laughing so hard as she acted out Mary Poppins and a taxi cab driver in Cranium.  And "the delicious midlife crisis" in Apples to Apples was pretty hilarious, too.

Time for this girl to hit the hay.  Have a great week.  :-)

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel 

Rest

Since the end of swim lessons and summer school, I honestly have not had a ton to do.  For those who know me very well, this is a rare occurrence.  Last week, I had a little more time to myself than usual and was able to finish up a couple of books, as well as spend some much-needed time with friends without stressing about crossing items off on my list of things to do.  I find it amazing how much more at peace the soul feels when the body has had rest.  Whenever school starts, I want to have as few commitments as possible.  I don't want to be lazy, but during my time off, I have noticed that I am a much better friend and wife whenever I am not running around like a chicken with its head cut off.  I want to be able to actually invest in my students and community in Norman, and to do that, I'm going to need to learn to say "no" to many things that I would normally commit to without a second thought.  Yikes.  I think it will feel good to breathe, though. 

I am currently visiting at my parents' house.  Unfortunately, Andrew could not take off work and come with me, but I have been needing this trip all summer.  I miss living here.  I miss my family and friends.  We are obviously supposed to be in Norman right now, and we do know some truly wonderful people there.  It would be a lie to say that I never get lonely, though.  In the past day and a half, I have gotten to see several of my dear old friends and enjoy great conversations with my parents.  I'm really looking forward to the rest of my time here before I head back to Norman for New Teacher Training.  (Wow, is this really happening?!)

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

And... breathe.

This week marked the conclusion of summer school and another session of swim lessons for me. Don't get me wrong, I like doing both of those things, but I am very thankful to have a break! When the summer began, my thoughts were something like, "Teaching summer school will be so awesome because I'll be finished by noon every day and then I can just lay out by the pool and read a good book, have lots of time to spend with friends, etc." And then I volunteered to teach swim lessons. And clean someone's house. And continue Spanish tutoring.  And wake up at 5:00 a couple of times a week to run before the heat kicks in.  Overcommitment might be one of my greatest faults.  Usually I enjoy the things to which I am overcommitted, but honestly, nothing is as fun when you have to rush through it in order to accomplish the next thing on the list or feel like you are constantly running yourself into the ground (sometimes literally).

Overcommitment issues aside, I had a precious little class this summer.  Being in an autism room entails sometimes getting bit, spit on, scratched, and the occasional student pulling down his pants and sitting naked in your chair (happened this week).  But all in all, I have loved it and am probably looking forward to the fall more now than I was before I taught this summer.  Not to mention the fact that my coworkers and bosses seem really wonderful.  We had a staff retreat on Monday of this week, and everyone was so friendly and welcoming to me and the other new teacher.  The assistant principal is always contacting me about resources I can have, and she provided me with all kinds of new furniture and supplies for next year.  I have always wanted to teach in an inner-city school, but for my first year, I am very thankful to be working at Roosevelt so that I can build up my stockpile of teaching supplies before I do this!  I may actually be sharing a classroom with the other autism teacher for about a month or so until their classroom is finished (not exactly sure how that will work out with 8-9 adults and 15 students in the room), but that is literally the ONLY thing I have had to worry about.

As far as other news this week, my students in swim lessons were a lot of fun.  They all made great progress, too, which is exciting for their parents and me to watch.  I also got to see my friend, Rachel, every day while I was teaching them because she graciously offered for me to use the pool at her house to teach.  Andrew is frantically looking for a job- we've basically given up on Starbucks because the hiring person is out of town for a few weeks.  (Who does that?)  I guess it's not out of the question that he could still work there, but he is definitely looking at other options.  My cousin, Nathan, who lives in Utah, came through town this past weekend for a pottery show in Oklahoma City, and we really enjoyed visiting and playing games with him.  Last night, we had book club here, which was fun.

Last but not certainly not least, we are seriously considering getting a dog.  One of Andrew's coworkers has a cute 7-month-old golden retriever that is quickly outgrowing their apartment.  We had thought we would wait to get a dog, but since this opportunity kind of fell into our lap, it seems almost too good to pass up.  Another family is also interested in the dog, so we will have to wait and see I guess!

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

Anniversary and other adventures

For those who haven't tried The Melting Pot, it is definitely worth your time (and despite the ridiculously high prices, it is also worth your money on rare special occasions). Andrew did not even know what fondue was before we went to the Melting Pot for our anniversary (and I had never tried it), but we were both pleasantly surprised. The atmosphere was relaxed and left us feeling like we were not just ordinary guests who are rushed in and out in order to bring in more business. When I looked down at my watch as we were leaving, we had spent almost two and a half hours enjoying our dinner and each other.

After our trip to The Melting Pot, we spent the night at Hyatt Place OKC. Modern, romantic, tasteful. Loved it. We slept late on Saturday before driving to Amarillo for my sweet friend, Molly's, wedding. It was a beautiful, beautiful wedding.

On our actual anniversary, I cooked dinner for us to have at home. Oven roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, French bread, and our year-old wedding cake (which was surprisingly good after sitting in the freezer for the past year and despite the fact that after thawing, all of the icing proceeded to fall off the sides).

As far as other life updates go, Andrew has not heard back from his Starbucks interview on Monday, but he feels good about the interview, and we are both prayerfully hopeful that he will get the job. I finished teaching swim lessons to precious little Georgia this week and started teaching six more (older) kiddos in my friend, Rachel's, pool on Tuesday. I am loving being in the sun so much once again this summer! Summer school wraps up next Thursday- where did the time go?! I still doubt myself all the time about being a good teacher, especially when I get my real classroom in the fall, but I am nonetheless thankful to have had an opportunity to "get my feet wet" this summer.

Our next Summer Book Club meeting is next Thursday night at our house. We are reading Beer and Circus, which talks about how big-time college sports are crippling undergraduate education. This is not the type of book that I would normally pick up, but it is quite insightful, and Andrew and I are both enjoying it. Although OU is not perfect, after reading about some of the other schools in the book, we definitely feel like we were so blessed to get an education there!

I have been thinking about this quote a lot throughout the week: "The gospel is the news that you are far worse, disgusting, corrupted, vile, evil, manipulative, and weak than you ever thought. But you are also, in Christ, far more loved, accepted, cared for, forgiven, set free, and stronger than you ever dared dream possible. And these two truths are true at the same time (simul iustus et peccator) if you are a Christian because of Jesus's life, death, resurrection, and soon return for you."
I am so glad that this is true.

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

Happy Anniversary to Us!

I've been thinking a lot this week about how different my life was a year ago. At about this time on July 9, 2009, I was running around like a mad woman (or was that my mom?), finishing up last-minute wedding plans and getting ready for my bachelorette party. Today I am sitting at Starbucks in Norman with a ring on my finger, a great husband, and a much more relaxed schedule.

When pondering one word to sum up the past year, many went through my mind. Crazy. Joyful. Challenging. Stressful. Happy. Wonderful. I think the one word that sums everything up best, though, is unpredictable. That's a pretty neutral word to sum up an absolutely amazing year, but that's what this year has been. Marriage is nothing like what I expected. The last three months especially have been reminding me of how little control I actually have over my own life. I thought I had a pretty good idea of where we would be in life at this time last year, and pretty much nothing is the same as I had envisioned. It's better. God has been so gracious to us in the circumstances of our life, as well as in our relationship. I never thought we would be staying in Norman, much less owning a house. I also never thought that I would actually be happier after a year of being married, but I am. I can't say enough good things about my sweet husband, who is so patient and makes me better every day. All glory to Christ!

People say the first year of marriage is the hardest. Sure, it's been challenging sometimes. But if that is really true, then I pray that God gives us 50+ more years together because I am convinced that things will only improve. In the words of Brad Paisley, we'll probably look back on this year, as our hearts are overflowing with love and joy, and think, "And I thought I loved you then!"

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

Starbucks

I'm writing this from the Starbucks on Main Street in Norman, OK, where Andrew will *hopefully* have a job by this time on Monday. Thanks to a great friend, Mitchell Greer, Andrew has an interview here at 8:00 a.m. on July 12. If you think of it, please keep him in your prayers, as this is his first choice of places to work in the fall during seminary. (For those who are wondering, Andrew is still currently employed at Paycom and will continue to work there until August, at which time he will hopefully begin part-time work here while pursuing his studies.) Andrew's good friend, Bentern (also known as Ben Nichols, the former RUF intern), also has an interview at Starbucks on Monday, and they are both hoping that they will be able to work together!

Is Starbucks overcommercialized? Maybe. But does it provide well for its employees? Yes. Andrew working at Starbucks means that we would get free drinks, and Andrew would get health insurance for working part-time.

Oh, and free WiFi for all.

House Pictures

Our house pictures are up! You can see them here.

On Community

I remember going to my first Senior Night at RUF as a freshman in 2007. As the seniors were reflecting on their time at OU and giving advice to us younger students, the one thing that I remember everyone saying was something about community. I didn't even know what that word meant at the time. The topic has come up on several occasions as of late, probably because our last Book Club selection was a book about Christian community (Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer). I'm still not sure I really know exactly what community means, but I have learned a few things about it.

1. Community is not guaranteed. I think that people usually hang out with the people they do in hopes of building deep relationships. I do. However, Bonhoeffer points out in his book that God does not have to grant us these relationships. They are blessings which are too often taken for granted.

2. Communities change. The group of people I hung out with in 2007 is not exactly the same group I hang out with now. People grow up and move on with their lives, which means movement to and from communities. With every loss or addition of a person, the dynamics of the community change. Sometimes I wish this didn't have to be the case. I don't like to see friends move away, but such is life. With new people moving into communities, there are also opportunities for new friendships.

3. Community means knowing people. Not just hanging out with them, but asking them questions. Hard questions. Getting into their business. Listening. Caring. Forgiving. Loving.

4. Community means being known by people. Yikes. That means all my sin comes out for everyone to see. It means that people ask me hard questions. It means that I must ask others for forgiveness. It means that people see me for exactly who I am... which is not always pleasant.

5. Community is hard, but so worth it. I don't always like for people to see me for me. It's easier to put on a front and pretend that I have everything together. It's easier to have superficial relationships, to sit at home, to live for oneself, to not invest energy in others, to not talk about the dark and broken places of one's soul. But none of that is genuine and none of that makes you grow. None of that provides as much joy as going through the challenge.

Andrew and I have community here in Norman. We have had it to some extent in other places, but never like we have it here, mostly through RUF and UFC. And by God's grace, we are different, better people because of it.

Our Backyard is a Lake

Currently, I am looking out our sliding glass door and into our backyard, which looks more like a swamp than anything else. Since about 9 pm last night, the rain here has hardly let up, so it looks like our 4th of July weekend will be rather untraditional (we will be spending it inside). Ironically, we were supposed to be in Houston visiting my family and the Greers today. After a series of miscommunications and sitting in traffic in Oklahoma for an hour last night, we decided to turn around and drive back to spend the weekend in Norman. We would not have arrived in Houston until at least 2 a.m. with the way our trip was going, and we would have had to drive back this afternoon. I was greatly looking forward to seeing our family and friends, but sometimes life just happens in ways you didn't quite expect.

Yesterday, we had our church over to the house for a cookout. Thankfully, the rain held off all day, and we had a great time. We had about 25 people over, a large portion of them being children. Church functions always remind me why I love children... and why we would like to wait to have our own. The kids at UFC are seriously cute and well-behaved, but Andrew and I realize more all the time how much our lives will change when we have them, and I think we'd like a couple more years to just be us.

The house has been a huge blessing already. I have always enjoyed having people over, but I enjoy it even more now, knowing that our space is much more homey and accommodating. We have had friends over several times already and are looking forward to having many more people in our home over the next several years.

Andrew turned 24 on Thursday. I think he would say that he had a good birthday, although it was not unlike any other day of the year. We met his parents for dinner after he got off work and then came back to the house. When I asked Andrew what he wanted to do for the rest of the evening, he said, "A puzzle." I tried to convince him that there are many more options of things to do on one's birthday, but he insisted that a puzzle was what he wanted to do. We did end up going to meet some friends later. Thanks, everyone, who made his birthday special. Your calls and messages did not go unnoticed!

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

Bare Feet and Freezy Pops

When I sat down to write this blog, my first sentence was going to be, "This summer has been the best I've ever had." But then I realized that that statement is not exactly true. I have had some awesome summers, but I would say the icing on the cake was last summer, which was complete with marrying the love of my life and going on the perfect honeymoon to Playa del Carmen, Mexico. All that aside, Summer 2010 is running a close second to Summer 2009- and it's not even close to being over yet.

Last week, I worked at Youth Leadership Forum camp in Chickasha, Oklahoma. While I had been looking forward to YLF, I was not exactly sure what to expect and therefore was not as excited as I get about other forthcoming events. However, YLF far surpassed my expectations, and I had a phenomenal week. Following staff training on Monday, the campers arrived on Tuesday morning, some of them 2 hours early because they were so anticipating the week. The first thing I noticed about my campers is that they were all extremely high functioning. After working for nearly three summers at a camp which accepts people with an immensely wide disability range, this was a surprise to me. I was even more shocked to find out that all of the campers were responsible for their own personal care needs- another big change from Camp Summit. Our group was shy at first (minus one boy, who I found out later actually lives on my street) but opened up as the week went by. I feel like we made good connections with all of the students in our group and gave them some valuable resources they can use in the pursuit of their goals. My favorite thing about this camp is that it is that it is a leadership camp for people with disabilities. I would venture to say that most people do not think people with disabilities have leadership skills. I loved sitting down with the campers at night, hearing the goals they have for their lives, and realizing that they could actually accomplish those goals. We got to go with the kids one day to the Oklahoma State Capitol, where they were able to sit on the House of Representatives floor and debate a bill. They got to be treated like competent, worthy adults. Here are two quick examples of what YLF is all about.
1. Duane
I know you're not supposed to have favorite campers, but Duane was definitely mine. Duane was loud, hilarious, and socially awkward, but most importantly, he was himself and everyone loved him for it. From his weak social skills and apparent lack of common sense, one might assume that Duane could not accomplish much with his life. After talking with him throughout the week, though, we learned that he has plans to become a robotic engineer- and honestly I think he could do it and love it. Duane had us all in stitches at various times throughout the week- singing EVERY WORD of a rendition of Hakuna Matata, racing around the dance floor instead of dancing, and introducing himself to everyone as "____ Duane ____, and I'll be a SENIOR at Durant High School!"
2. Diamond
For whatever reason, Diamond and I just clicked. We really couldn't be more opposite in many ways, but that didn't matter. Diamond wants to be a special ed teacher. As we were filling out paperwork, I noticed that Diamond has A LOT of difficulty with reading and writing. A lot. She said she has struggled all through school with this, so she will be able to understand kids in her class who are having difficulties. She has already been accepted to Cameron University, and I think she'll make a better teacher than me one day.
I'm not sure YLF holds the same place in my heart that Camp Summit does, but it is a great place nonetheless.

I was commended at camp this past week for missing out on all the hard work of moving. People asked me if I had planned that on purpose. I hadn't. We have unbelievable families and a great church family who made the transition seamless. I never thought we would be settled into our home a mere two days after picking up the U-Haul truck, but all we lack is hanging a couple of things on the walls! The past few days, I have felt like I am just playing house. Our new home is beautiful, and I am still surprised that it is actually ours. I pray that we will be good stewards of this place and use our home to reach out to our community.

Back to the "best summer ever", I will reevaluate that thought in August. Yesterday consisted of going to a job (which I love) in the morning, laying out by the pool with a friend, eating freezy pops, having dinner with church friends, and coming back to a new home with my sweet husband. That's a pretty good summer day, I'd say.

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

Sleep

Some interesting conversations about sleep, which I believe are worth repeating, surfaced on Memorial Day. My parents had some friends over for Memorial Day weekend while we were there, and the sleep conversation started when Patti (mom's friend) launched into a recounting of some recent dreams of hers that had us all (me especially) in stitches. Here are some highlights from the conversation:

-Andrew used to text message me in his sleep when we were dating. People sometimes ask me if I am kidding about this. No, I wish I could make up such interesting stories. The fact of the matter is that sometimes I used to wake up in the middle of the night to my text message alert going off. The text messages progressed from complete gibberish to my favorite, "You did it. You have everything. You found Uncle Abroge." When asked about these things the following day, Andrew would have no idea what I was talking about and would have to go through his text message outbox to verify that he did indeed send me text messages in his sleep.

-The man that married us, Doug, sometimes stands over people's beds and stares at them while they (and he) are sleeping. This can be rather unnerving when people wake up to find a tall, sometimes unknown, fellow standing next to their pillow.

-Patti had three crazy dreams in one night.
1. I was making rolls for your mom's party and when we got ready to go I opened them up and there were strings coming out of them everywhere. As I kept pulling them apart, more and more strings started coming out. I said to myself, "Hmm, I think they'll notice."
2. We were going to have a Memorial Day party and invite a bunch of people over; however, the party was not at our house. We had rented a house for the occasion. When I got there to take a look at the house and set up for the party, Kate (my daughter) was sitting on the floor scooping up bugs in her hands. Just piles and piles of bugs everywhere.
3. (Same house, later in the evening.) We began setting up, and I opened one of the kitchen cabinets to find a baby calf laying down inside. He was just calmly laying there with his bowl of milk in the next cabinet, as if this was a normal thing for calves to do.

-Andrew's sister once came upstairs in the middle of the night to find Andrew peeing (in his sleep) in the laundry hamper in the hallway. My cousin also found her husband doing the same thing once...in the refrigerator.

Sleep is a funny thing. I think it is bizarre that people think and do things in their sleep that they would never think or do otherwise.

As far as news in the Fenrick house goes, all is well. I have had more time lately to practice my piano, which I am becoming ever more convinced was perhaps the best investment (beside our house) I have ever made. I got to see my future classroom for the first time this week! It is quite large and is a safe room so that I will not have to move my kids with autism to another location in the event of a tornado or fire drill. People have been unbelievably generous in leaving things for me and letting me go through their teaching tools to find things I need to begin my own classroom. Memorial Day weekend was relaxing and enjoyable. We went down to Flower Mound to see my parents and some of their friends on Saturday. We came back for church on Sunday and then went to a wedding for our RUF friends, Kaitlin and Wes. Yesterday, we got to spend some time with Andrew's family, as well as our good friends, Derek and Erica. The days mostly consisted of food, good conversations, and swimming. This weekend, Tim (my brother) will be coming up to spend the night and then go to a wedding with us in Tulsa on Saturday. I will also get to meet Andrew's grandpa in Tulsa for the first time. We are both excited about a group of college students coming down from Indiana to help our church with some mission work here in Norman from June 5-11. We will have two students staying with us and are looking forward to getting to know them and helping them spread the gospel to people in Norman who desperately need it. The countdown to closing on our house is now at two weeks! Life is a whirlwind around here, but we wouldn't have it any other way. :-)

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

Oh, and I found University Fellowship Church's website the other day. Some of you may be interested to see where we go to church. There are already a couple of podcasts up!

Life Lately

I can't say that I have anything profound or life-changing to say this week. It has been a good week. I turned 22 on Tuesday, and I had a wonderful birthday. My parents got to come up last weekend to celebrate with me, and I also celebrated with Andrew's parents later in the week. On my actual birthday, Andrew and I went out to dinner and then met up with some friends later in the evening. Every year on my birthday, someone (usually my brother, if no one else) inevitably asks me, "So how does it feel to be ___ (years old) now?" And every year, my answer is the same: "No different than it felt to be ___ (years old)."

On Friday, I went to the Oklahoma City Zoo with one of the autism classes at Roosevelt Elementary, where I will be teaching. I will not have any of the students that went on the field trip because I will be getting all new students in the fall, but I did get to meet the other teacher who will be working with me, as well as some of the parents with whom I will be interacting. I am getting more excited about the job with every opportunity I get to spend with Roosevelt. I do worry sometimes that parents will not take me seriously- after all, if I was a parent of a student with autism, I probably would be skeptical of entrusting my child to the care of a 22-year-old girl straight out of college. But all in all, I am SO thankful to have a job for next year. I do not think I fully realized the state of the economy until after I had already taken this job. Lately, though, I have been hearing of more and more teachers losing their jobs, and I know that most of the education majors in my graduation class have not found jobs yet. Yikes. Even if I end up hating my job (and I feel sure that that will not be the case), I will be so thankful that I have one because I realize that many people have not been so blessed. You know the economy is in bad shape when TEACHERS are having trouble finding jobs.

Other highlights of the week:
-Andrew got a raise! His bosses were very appreciate of his hard work, and his review came a couple of months early, which was a pleasant surprise. More than the money, it is just a blessing to have a husband who puts everything into his work, even though he doesn't always enjoy the job.
-Our friends, Ashley and Josh, got married yesterday. The wedding was lovely, and we got to travel to Tulsa for it with Katherine and Mitchell. Ashley and Josh will be in the OKC area in the future, so we are looking forward to spending more time with them. Also, all of my old roommates were at the wedding, so it was great to see them.
-Sundays are the best. Today, we went to church, had lunch with some friends, took a long nap, went to bible study, went for a run, and are now sitting down blogging and reading. God definitely knew that we needed a day of rest when he created the world!

I thought I would also make you all aware of an awesome website which we have found recently. For those who love to read, Paperback Swap is worth your time. After you are finished reading a book (it can be hardback or paperback), just post it on the website. When someone wants your book, you ship it to them and receive one credit when they receive it. You can then find a book you want and get it with your credit. All you pay for is shipping the book to the other person- they pay for shipping the book you want to you. (And the shipping is Media Mail, so it's really inexpensive anyway.) I have actually been shocked (in a good way) by the honesty of people who participate in the trade. I have gotten credits for all of the books I have mailed to people. Anyway, check it out if you're a reader.

That's about it from the Fenrick house for now.

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

After the Storm

I love the calm after a storm. It's tornado season here in Oklahoma, and there is no time of year when I am reminded more often of the words in our state song, "And the wind comes sweeping down the plain..." Last night, we experienced several tornadoes in our area. Thankfully, all is well with us and those we love, but in the midst of the raging wind and pouring rain, I wasn't sure that it would be. Mostly, I hate storms. But there is a brief period of a few hours afterward that reminds me why they are necessary. After the 60+ mph winds have dissipated and the sideways rains and hail have ceased, there is quiet. Stillness. Calm. Things which, in Norman, can only take place after the most brutal display of the forces of nature. In Norman, the wind always blows (at least a little), except after a storm, so it is only in the aftermath of such an event that I am truly able to recognize the peace and stillness. I think life is like that. There would be no real joy or understanding without the storms. I used to dread such trials, but sometimes now I almost look forward to them, resting in the knowledge that my vision will be clearer and my heart more rested when they have passed. The hospital incident was the latest storm, but since then, I have felt an overwhelming sense of peace about life in general. The sun always shines brighter after the rain.

I was thinking about Peru yesterday. When we first came back to the States, all I wanted to do was be in Peru. I hated everything about being back here. My love for Peru has not lessened, but my attitude has definitely changed over the past few weeks. I know we will go back when God calls us to go back, and I am really excited for that day. But, I am also really excited to think that I have a purpose here. Now. In Norman. Andrew and I have been talking a lot about why we are staying here, and I think we feel better about our decision every day. We are both realizing how much we care about the campus which will be less than 2 miles from our new home, the many college students who are hurting and need the gospel, and the beautiful children with autism who will be in my classroom next year. In all honesty, I usually make decisions based on how they will affect me, which is really no way to live. God has changed our hearts in so many ways over the past few weeks. When we decided to stay here, it was because we want to serve our church, because Andrew can meet with college students, and because we can stay involved with RUF. When we decided to buy a house, it was because we can practice hospitality by hosting events there and really knowing people. When I decided to take a job in Norman instead of Moore, it is because I am understanding the value of knowing and loving community. To Christ alone be the glory for all of these things.

Two awesome and one sad event happened this week. The sad one is that our cat, Gato, moved away. For those who are confused, Gato was not really our cat, but she might as well have been because she came into our house so often. I wouldn't really call myself a cat person, but Gato was the coolest cat ever. Her owners (our neighbors) moved out, and so Gato is gone. We will miss her. One of the awesome things is that we are officially members of University Fellowship Church now, as we had our covenant signing last week after church. UFC also has a website (with podcasts!), or at least it did last week, but now that I am about to post the link I can't find it. Oops. The other awesome thing is that I got to go to Bart Conner Gymnastics today with one of the autism classes in Norman. Some of you might not think this is great, but let me explain why it is. I did gymnastics for about 10 years. I love gymnastics and miss it a lot. But more importantly, I will get to take MY OWN CLASS there next year, once a week! After watching the students today, I know this will be such a good thing for them and can't wait to start doing it.

I realized I never posted a picture of our new home. Here is one of the outside, although the inside is even more beautiful! We had the inspection this week, and the only thing needing to be addressed is replacing the hot water heater. Can't wait to move in!

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

Grace Abounding

Before I update on the big events in our life, I would like to say a few words about running. I hate running. I used to love it. In fact, I can pinpoint the exact point in time when I started hating it, and that is when I began training for the Fort Worth Cowtown Marathon. Is it an accomplishment to finish a marathon? Yes. Is it worth it? For me, absolutely not (although I realize that it is for some). For about a week after I ran the race, I probably would have said that the experience was totally worth everything I had endured during the previous weeks of training, and as far as muscle aches and pains go, it probably was. However, I am still recovering from the emotional toll the training and the race itself took on me. I do not enjoy running anymore because it is something I feel like I have to do instead of something I do because I want to. While I was training for the marathon, I would run for hours at a time by myself because, well, that's what all of the training guides told me to do. Pretty quickly, my almost daily runs were becoming obligations, and the monotony of them was almost unbearable. Without even realizing it, I had become consumed by the compulsion to run. I thought that after running a marathon, all of this would go away and I could go back to doing average runs and regain my desire to run, but this just hasn't happened. After running 26 miles, I feel like I have to keep running absurdly long distances or I am just not doing enough. And so, I wake up early in the mornings or run late after a long day, not because I enjoy it but because this silly marathon has made me think that doing anything less is unacceptable. I want to love running again.

Aside from all of that, I accepted a job at Roosevelt Elementary on Thursday. I really could not be more excited about this opportunity. For the sake of being in community and doing ministry in Norman, I had really been hoping to obtain a job with Norman Public Schools. There are other great districts around, but I am very thankful to be teaching so close to home(!) and our church. The funny thing about this job is that I did NOT want it when the school called me for an interview (I had been looking for middle school positions). With every other job I had applied for, I had had to make phone calls or somehow follow up on my application. Roosevelt saw my application online and called me out of the blue. I almost declined the interview, but for some reason (God's direction) I decided to just go and get some interview experience. The night before I went in, Andrew figured out that he and his family know the principal there. He spoke very highly of her and made me feel much more relaxed about the upcoming interview. When I went in the school, I immediately felt welcome, and the questioning process went unbelievably well. As I heard more about the job, met many great people who work at Roosevelt, and looked around the school, I began to think that I really would love working there. So, when the principal called me this week to offer me the job, I accepted. I'll be teaching an autism classroom and probably only have 4-5 students to begin, although the program is expected to expand as the year continues. I feel that this is the perfect way to ease into my first year of teaching (if there is a way to do such a thing!) and am so excited about the school, my students, and the people with whom I will be working. All of that being said, if anyone wants to donate resources/toys which you aren't using to me or look for useful classroom items at garage sales, I wouldn't turn away the help. :-)

Also, we bought a house yesterday! If you had asked me about a week and a half ago if we were thinking of buying a house any time soon, I probably would have told you "not for awhile". However, we suddenly realized that the $8,000 tax credit for first time homebuyers would be the perfect way to pay back the $8,000 of student loans remaining in our account. And as we also realized, the tax credit ended April 30th. So, we did what any crazy couple would do and looked at ten houses on Tuesday and Wednesday of this week and made an offer on Wednesday night. We signed the papers to get the tax credit on Friday with about seven hours to spare. Looking back on the past week, I am still amazed at how God orchestrated it all. We have a friend at church who is a realtor who helped us with everything. She was so patient with our many questions, and I do not think we would have been able to find another realtor considering the time crunch we were facing. Also, the sellers were very gracious. They gave us our asking price, agreed to pay closing costs, and are leaving the refrigerator (which we requested in the contract). I'll try to post pictures when I can- I am not going to make a link to the real estate website because I'm sure the posting will be gone in a few days. Anyway, our home is in a quiet neighborhood in Norman. It has 3 bedrooms and 1.5 bathrooms, which is definitely more than what we need now, but we are excited to have people over often and to hopefully raise kids in this house one day. The house was built in the 1970's but the exterior has been well-maintained, and nearly everything on the interior was completely redone in 2008. We close June 1st. Despite the time restraints we faced, I do not feel like we just "settled" because we want a house. We knew that this might not work out, and we were okay with that. But, we absolutely love this house, and obviously the whole situation was meant to be!

As if that isn't enough for a week, Andrew sold his car this morning (finally). His 2002 Grand Am had been sitting idly in our driveway for months now, so Andrew decided to relist it on Craig's List and got over 30 hits on it since yesterday! Anyway, some guy came by this morning and paid cash for it, so we are very relieved to have it off our hands. I guess the timing just wasn't right for selling it before. Andrew had posted it on Craig's List awhile back, and no one was interested. Now, I am so glad that we sold it when we did because we would have spent that money to pay off student loans and now we can use it for a down payment on our house AND have our loans paid off.

There have been so many times this week when I have felt like I am just living in a dream. God has been so gracious, and I have been constantly humbled by this grace because I am so undeserving of any of the amazing blessings He has given us. I always like to control things, and this week God just caused everything to fall into place exactly as He had planned, which is far better than any plan I could have imagined or tried to take control of myself. To Him be the glory forever!

Our Crazy Life

I don't have time to post much, but I thought these things were worth noting.

-I have been involved in a campus-wide, week-long game of tag called Humans vs. Zombies for the past few days. Over 300 campuses around the nation have been involved in the game at some point this year. This sounds crazy but basically one person starts out as a Zombie and tries to tag humans to turn them into Zombies, who then have to go tag other humans. Humans wear bandanas on their arms; Zombies wear them on their heads. This is how you know who is playing. RUF actually started this event, but now over 800 people on campus at OU are playing. I have never seen anything like it on campus, and it has been a great way to meet new people, simply because all types of people are playing.

-We are for sure staying in Norman.

-We received our hospital bill from when Andrew had his seizure. A $14,000 visit only ended up costing $1500, thanks to insurance. You never find out how good (or bad) your insurance is until you actually have to use it. And at the end of the day, we would have paid any amount of money so that Andrew would be okay.

-Starting in August, Andrew will be taking 10 hours of classes on Mondays at the Southwestern Seminary extension campus in Shawnee, about 30 minutes from our house. Professors travel up from Fort Worth to teach the classes there.

-I have two job offers, one at Roosevelt Elementary in Norman (in an autism classroom) and one at Winding Creek Elementary in Moore (in a classroom for students with moderate learning disabilities). I need to decide where I will be teaching by the end of the week.

-We have looked at 7 houses in the past day and will be looking at 2-4 more today in an effort to buy a house by Friday before the first time homebuyer tax credit runs out.

All of that said, I have literally been wide awake the past few nights because my mind is racing. Life is going about 90 miles an hour and I cannot believe all of the things that are happening. God is so good.

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

Eyebrows

9:00 a.m., Blanchard Elementary Special Education Classroom:

Me: Good morning, Ryan! What would you like to share with us today?
Ryan: My Thomas (the Tank Engine) shoes!
Me: Great! Ryan has Thomas shoes, Thomas shoes, Thomas shoes. Ryan has Thomas shoes, Thomas shoes Thomas shoes. Thanks, Ryan!

Me: Justin, what would you like to share today?
Justin: My football shirt!
Me: I love that shirt, Justin. Justin has a football shirt, a football shirt, a football shirt. Justin has a football shirt, a football shirt, a football shirt. Thanks, Justin!

Me: Brandon, what would you like to share today?
Brandon: My eyebrows.
Me: Ok great. (What??) And why would you like to share your eyebrows?
Brandon: Because they are blonde and hairy and kinda look like caterpillars.

Things Change

About 2 weeks ago, we were basically 102 percent sure that we would be moving to Fort Worth at the end of the summer. Now, we are about 95 percent sure that we are not.

The reasons for this decision are hard to explain, but the biggest reason is probably our church. Both of us had been dreading the idea of leaving this place which we feel is just getting off its feet. As it turns out, there is a campus of Southwestern Baptist Seminary (the same one that is in Fort Worth) in Shawnee, Oklahoma, which is about 30 minutes from our house in Norman. Andrew could complete most of his seminary degree there while we stay here and be part of our church and community. Another huge reason for staying is that I have had much more success in searching for jobs here than in Fort Worth. I had an interview in the Norman area last week and have three this week. Two of the jobs for which I have interviewed seem like they could be great possibilities. There are several other small reasons which have contributed to our "almost decision" beside the ones I just mentioned. I am saddened to think of the people we will be missing in D/FW but also excited as I think of the opportunities God seems to be providing here, in Norman. I hated Norman for the first three years I lived here. Now I hate the thought of ever having to leave.

Andrew's health continues to improve as he recovers from his seizure. He is working full-time and seems to be suffering few side effects from the medication. Occasionally, he is still dizzy, but this only occurs when he moves his head a certain way. No more seizures since the hospital visit!

We got to go to one of our favorite places this weekend. We went to Doug's (our RUF campus minister) parents' house in Ozark, MO with some fellow RUF'ers. The highlights of the weekend included shooting potato cannons, sitting in the hot tub, riding the four-wheeler, eating at Lambert's, and having a bonfire. We especially enjoyed just talking with great friends and having time to read and relax. Doug's parents are so generous to open their beautiful home to us a couple of times a year, and we always look forward to those times of refreshing.

Three major things have happened in my life this week:
1. I decided not to run the OKC Memorial Half Marathon. This is actually a huge decision for me. Lately, I have been running because I feel compelled to do so instead of because I want to. So, I sold my registration and am trying to have no regrets.
2. I put in my two weeks' notice for my tutoring job. Although I have been enjoying this job lately, I simply do not have time for it. I am far too busy, and this is one thing I have been needing to cut out for awhile. My friend, Julia, is going to pick up where I left off, which is wonderful because I do not feel guilty about quitting.
3. I got accepted to work as a camp counselor for a week-long leadership camp for high school seniors with special needs in June. You can check out the Youth Leadership Forum here. I feel honored to be accepted for this position and am already excited about the week! I actually did not think I would be paid when I applied for the job, but as it turns out, I will have a very generous compensation, which is a nice surprise.

Sometimes life happens so fast I can hardly keep up.

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

Perspective

I find it amazing how much events such as the one which occurred this week can change your perspective on literally, almost everything. I have realized several things over the course of the past few days:

One
We have some really incredible friends and family members. I have always been aware of this fact, but the situation at hand reminded me of it to a greater extent than ever before. The amount of calls, visits, messages, offers for help, and prayers we received were humbling. I don't know if it is quite possible to understand how much people love you until something bad happens.

Two
The gospel is perhaps even more true in suffering than it is in the everyday happenings of life. Or at least, I think about it more during trials. Though this week has been hard, I have constantly been reminded of God's love and how He has blessed us in so many ways. Things could have been much worse, and through Andrew's physical healing, we have both been reminded of the fact that God is in the constant process of redeeming His people and making them more like himself.

Three
Insurance is expensive but so worth it (and money really doesn't matter anyway). I grit my teeth every time we have to shell out hundreds of dollars for a service we hope we never have to use, but when we do need it, I am so thankful for the hundreds and thousands of dollars it saves us in the end. Andrew's trip to the hospital may still be costly, but I would gladly pay any amount of money to make sure my husband is ok.

Four
I spend a large chunk of my days thinking about things which are completely worthless: what I have to do tomorrow or next week, how this shirt or pair of jeans looks on me, the amount of money in our bank account, etc. Over the past few days, I have not had much time to think about such things, and this has been both refreshing and eye-opening. Although I have been stressed, my mind has been more clear than it has been in weeks.

Five
Some things can just wait. As many of you know, I never stop. I am constantly running errands, going for a run, or cleaning the house. I overcommit myself and consequently end up tired and frustrated frequently. Because I was at the hospital and taking care of Andrew this week, I was forced to slow down and basically cancel everything I had planned. To my surprise, the world did not stop spinning. My teacher was not mad that I had to miss student teaching. My classmates were not angry when I missed a meeting on Wednesday. The house did not magically become filthy because I had not cleaned it. I did not lose my ability to run long distances or gain ten pounds because I skipped a couple of runs. And I'm sure there is still a teaching job available for me somewhere, despite the fact that I did not attend a job fair at OU. At the end of the day, the most important things are that I have a husband who loves me and is healthy and serve a God who knows what I need much better than I do.

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

Andrew

While I was at student teaching this morning, I got one of those phone calls you always dread getting. Andrew had had a seizure at work. Andrew hasn't had a seizure in over 20 years. He was immediately taken to the hospital, where I found him. He broke a bone around his eye and also broke his nose, but thankfully he has been responsive and hasn't lost his goofy sense of humor.

The doctors don't know what happened. The CT scan showed that he does NOT have swelling or any tumor on his brain, which is definitely good news. However, these things usually do not happen for no reason, so they are keeping him in the hospital overnight to monitor him and run more tests in the morning.

It would be a lie to say that I am fine. I am worried and kind of feel like I got hit by a bus today. But, I am trying to rest in the knowledge that this was no surprise to God. One thing that has encouraged me throughout this is the outpouring of love we have received from so many friends and family members. Thank you, everyone. Please keep praying.

The Power of the Cross

Happy Easter!

As a quick update, we have been the recipients of so many blessings lately. One thing I have been especially thankful for is the fact that spring always comes after winter and that God does renew the earth. The green trees and grass outside have been so refreshing. Also, my parents brought up my new car this weekend. It's a 2005 Corolla with less than 50k miles on it. It's perfect and practical, and we are both SO relieved to be rid of the huge money pit (aka VW Beetle) that had been sitting in our driveway for sale for the past 8 months. We got to see both of our families this weekend- mine came up for Tim's birthday, and we went to Andrew's parents' for Easter/birthday lunch. This weekend was relaxing, and we both were able to spend some time with sweet friends throughout the weekend. Student teaching is going somewhat better as I am becoming more accustomed to my new placement and am learning a lot from my master teacher. I'm not exactly enjoying it, but it is bearable. And, I just got an email from the principal of a school in Fort Worth that I didn't even visit when I went there last weekend. Apparently, another principal who I have been emailing gave her my name (?!) and thought I would be a good candidate for a job teaching students with autism. Blessings abound.

The truth about Easter is that we should celebrate it every day. What a glorious thing we have to celebrate! Church this morning was so good. Our friend, Cliff, has been teaching Sunday school lately, and I have been learning so much through his teaching. The resurrection is beautiful and I am inadequate to describe the way it changes everything, so I'll just leave the words to this song we sang this morning. Christ is risen indeed.

The Power of the Cross

Oh, to see the dawn of the darkest day
Christ on the road to Calvary
Tried by sinful men, torn and beaten, then
Nailed to a cross of wood.

This, the power of the cross
Christ became sin for us
Took the blame, bore the wrath
We stand forgiven at the cross.

Oh, to see the pain written on Your face,
Bearing the awesome weight of sin.
Ev'ry bitter thought, ev'ry evil deed
Crowning Your bloodstained brow.

Now the daylight flees; now the ground beneath
Quakes as its Maker bows His head.
Curtain torn in two, dead are raised to life;
"Finished!" the vict'ry cry.

Oh, to see my name written in the wounds,
For through Your suffering I am free.
Death is crushed to death; life is mine to live,
Won through Your selfless love.

This, the power of the cross
Son of God, slain for us
What a love! What a cost!
We stand forgiven at the cross.

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

This past weekend was an interesting one. I made the trek to Fort Worth on Friday morning to look for jobs. My mom was gracious enough to take the day off work so she could drive around with me. I had planned to make this trip myself with the help of my GPS, but having someone else in the car as I drove around to the 15+ different schools definitely eased the frustration. I had also planned to hopefully meet with some principals as I stopped by the schools and handed them my resume. Well, things did not quite work out that way. I did not end up meeting with a single principal, as they were all in meetings or would only be seen by appointment. So, I left my resume with the secretary at each school and felt my hopes fading upon getting back in the car after each school visit. My plan is to follow up and just keep applying for as many jobs as possible. I'll probably be that annoying girl who keeps sending emails and making calls to administrators. I just want a job. In all honesty, I had not been worried about finding one until this weekend, but after my day on Friday and after talking to someone who told me that Fort Worth is only hiring about half as many teachers as last year, I can't help but be discouraged. Instead of getting more excited about moving, I am actually looking forward to it less all the time. Ok, I am excited about moving closer to some people in the DFW area including my family, the Williams, the Harbers, and Rachel. And I'm kind of excited about the church we will be attending. The truth is, though, I just really love it here. I LOVE our church. I love our house. I love the people here. And I love the many doors that are open for us here to serve and work. I know that God will provide for us in Fort Worth. I guess I just need to be still and trust.

We did buy a new car this weekend. New to us, anyway. It is a 2005 white Corolla with 48,000 miles on it. We got it for less than we sold my car for, which is a huge blessing. My dad and I were talking on the way home about how God tends to line things up just right for us to show us His will. I randomly picked this weekend to go down to Fort Worth, and Andrew just this car online a couple of days ago and noticed that it was in Arlington. When we decided to buy it, we were talking to the owner about how to pay for it. As it turns out, he was a Bank of America customer also, so all we had to do was transfer funds. And there was a Bank of America about a mile down the road. I am so excited to be the new owner of a car that hopefully won't be a huge money pit like the last one. My dad and I calculated that I could have bought a fairly nice new car for the amount of money I spent on my VW while it was in the shop.

Student teaching is going alright. My teacher is great- she's the kind I could see myself being friends with outside of work. Ironically, she actually wanted to teach middle school, too, but she ended up in preschool. I just don't enjoy the age group or the disability level very much. God bless people who want to teach little kids. To me, it's exhausting. I also feel like I am not really teaching or relating to them. Most days, it kind of feels like babysitting.

My friend, Rhiannon, had a baby this week. She is precious. My brother came up to the hospital with Andrew and I to see her. This was the first time Tim had ever held a baby and he asked us when we were going to make him an uncle as we were leaving. :-)

I have still been thinking about Peru a lot this week. I want to be there. Really bad.

One of my favorite hobbies lately has been shopping for deals. I don't know why I enjoy that so much. I think I am going to start posting some of my weekly deals on here. This week's deal: Groupon. I'm not sure if they have Groupon for other cities beside OKC, but I'm guessing they do. You just go to the Groupon website and create a free account, and every day, they send you an email with some awesome deal in OKC (or Dallas, etc.). I bought my first one this week. It was a $25 gift certificate to Coco Flow Chocolates and Coffee that I got for $10. (AND, if you use the link I just gave you, I get a $10 credit!) I just found out that there are already 4 Aldi's open in Fort Worth. Yesss. I had been worried about that.

Thanks to Kate Hanna, I also found an awesome new coffee/cupcake shop in OKC. It's called Sara Sara Cupcakes. Deliciously cute cupcakes and tasty coffee in a redesigned historic home. Definitely worth the drive.

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

Peru: Pensamientos Finales (Final Thoughts)

Putting this trip into words would be impossible, but I am going to make an attempt to sum it up.

On Thursday, we went out to a squatter settlement in Trujillo called Clementina. Here, Peruvians have come down from the remote mountains outside the city to make a life for themselves in Trujillo. They build little straw huts which can hardly be called homes, and after living in them for two years, the government agrees to give them the land and turn on electricity. From that point, most people begin to build more substantial homes out of mud bricks. At the point of our arrival, many of the settlers had just experienced electricity for the first time. Climbing off the bus, I was devastated by what I saw- absolute poverty beyond anything we had seen in even the poorest communities in Peru. As we spent more time there, though, I began to see beyond the poverty and into the hope that lies in this community. People help each other build their houses. Children run through the sand with huge smiles on their dirty little faces, enjoying the gift of fresh air. Residents tell you how much they love living in Trujillo and eagerly await your affirmation of the city, as well. I could not get enough of Clementina. Later on Thursday, we went back there for a worship service. Peru Mission is in the process of building a church in the center of the community, and we had the service right outside the beginnings of the little church. We drug out benches and when our bus pulled up for the service, we found the majority of the town seated on them, waiting for us to arrive so they could begin. The pastor had asked several of us to speak at the end regarding our experiences in the community and throughout the week. I had volunteered to do so, but as I got up to speak, I was literally overwhelmed by the beauty around me and did not say really anything I had planned out. I teared up as I looked out and saw the many different faces worshiping God together and thought that there, in Clementina, I had a much clearer picture of what heaven will be like than any other place I have ever been. Because there, it didn't matter what you wore, how you looked, how much money you had put in the offering plate, or even the state of the building being used for the service. What mattered was that people were worshiping God and thanking Him for the provisions (which, by our standards, are hardly anything!)He had blessed them with. What mattered was the hope that they received from the gospel. What mattered was that someone was reading God's word to people who don't even have money for Bibles.

My heart is burdened to go back. It is really hard for me to be here and continue in the work that God has called me to do here in Norman right now when my heart is in Peru. It was especially hard for me to come back to a SNOWSTORM at the end of March.

Unrelated to Peru- we found out that Andrew was officially accepted to seminary in Fort Worth just before we left. Also, I start student teaching at a new placement tomorrow- in a preschool special education class. I thoroughly enjoyed my last placement at the middle school and am not really looking forward to this placement, especially after this trip. Hopefully it will end up being better than I expect.

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel

Peru: Cuatro

As I was wrote last time, I got to work in the clinic in Wichanzao yesterday morning. I have been thinking about this experience a lot over the past day or so. The clinic is a place of hope because it provides virtually free healthcare for people who could not otherwise afford it. However, it also made me sad. In America, many people's health issues stem from laziness. Here, the problems are because of poverty: lack of education, insufficient resources, and malnutrition. I did a urine analysis on an 83-year-old woman who had parasites and puss in her urine because she drinks the contaminated local water. One neighborhood boy, David (in the pictures from yesterday), is twelve years old but is the size of a six-year-old because of his diet, which consists almost solely of rice and potatoes. These things make me want to do something to change Peru and also make me so glad that Christ is returning to restore such a broken and hurting world.

Peru: Tres

Being here changes everything. It's impossible to explain that to someone who has never been here.

Yesterday, we spent the morning working at the church in Wichanzao, which is the same place I worked two years ago. Rain destroys everything in Peru because no one is prepared for more than about a half inch per year. A couple of weeks ago, it rained two inches here. Consequently, there is mold in the sanctuary of the church. We spent our time scraping mold off of the walls and preparing the sanctuary to be repainted. The church women prepared lunch for us there and afterward, we went to the National University for some English conversation classes with the students. This went MUCH better than the last time I went because it was more organized and the students who came could communicate amazingly well with us in English. People wonder why we are here, which provides great opportunities for sharing the gospel. In the words of one of the university students, "I don't mean to be- uh, how you say, impolite?- but what are you doing here?"

This morning, I got to go work in the clinic in Wichanzao. Being the medical expert that I am (NOT), I got to drain the fluid out of someone's ear. Actually what afforded me this opportunity was last semester's Medical Spanish class. I loved putting this to use, and I also loved seeing the clinic we worked on two years ago finished and serving so many people.

Will write more later...leaving for conversation class.

In Christ alone,
Mary Rachel